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(Detail removed by moderator) I’m struggling to hold it together. Some of you will know what I’ve been through but today I’m thinking, was it Abuse? (Detail removed by moderator). It’s making me feel vulnerable and crazy. This is abuse isn’t it? Violence, mental stuff, everything apart from sexual I think. He did withhold but I dunno if that’s same thing. He played with my emotions and would promise to love me and it never happened then he would do that again and again. Leaving me unloved. Dunno what that’s called. Anyway today I’m àn emotional wreck and wanna just disappear and not have a brain anymore. It feels tortured and I’m so close but struggling. I’m talking rubbish now, dunno what I’m typing, thanks for reading and thank you all for being here for me all this time
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If it wasn’t abuse the police wouldn’t be taking your statement. You can’t control what your family do but by the very nature of domestic abuse there are often no witnesses. I’d definitely go along and make the statement then let the police do their job and gather evidence. It what you need to do now and for your future. Get his abuse logged with the police and let them help you to feel safe in your own home. Years and years of minimising abuse as a coping mechanism is still ingrained. You absolutely know it’s abuse by sticking to and looking at the facts. The response of one of the officers is enough to confirm just how bad it was x
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It’s trauma. It makes it difficult for things to sink in. I had to be told time and time again. Couldn’t read and retain information. Had to write everything down.
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It will get fixed. It’s full of abuse as that takes priority to keep you safe. Once the abuse is gone the headspace returns. It feels quite miraculous almost spiritual. And the world opens up again and the flowers bloom x
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