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    • #12531
      betterdays
      Participant

      Hardly slept were really upset (detail removed by Moderator). ex partner never got me a card from my son which were done deliberately. But yet of all the nights of him voing out drinking I heard he chose last night talk bout rubbing salt in. It hurts me how he can be so smug and happy. He basically said the other month that me kicking him out over the yrs has caused it. Then I always had to wind him to breaking point and how he punched holes in door instead of me!!!! But yet he did hit me aswell. Then it’s been my kids and there disabilities. He basically towards the end wanted me but to just run to the pub aswell when he fancied why did I get involved. He’s too far gone……x

    • #12532
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi there, it’s a real roller coaster ride to recovery. The best advice I got was total no contact and tell people in your life that you do not want to know anything about him. Play the long game. Things will get better given time. They minimise and lie about their abusive ways. That way you carry all the guilt and they don’t have to. Treat yourself today❤️ You don’t need him to feel good about yourself x

    • #12535
      Confused123
      Participant

      HI HUn

      They will say a lot of b s about us, ignore it , as much as it hurts, be the better one, reality is they are covering up there own guilt and dont worry when it cathces up with them which it does they have a good cry too, u just be glad u r out, post on here as much as u need to we r here to support u , remmeber whyu left and how he used to treat u . Im out a year and half now and at last i can say i dont care what anyone thinks about why i took it for so long, it was my traumatic experience ,it happened to me , i know what i went through , i dont feel need to give any one explination, u get odd day when it hurts how they mess your life up, how people cut u off , but u do get through it , love yourself hun

      • #12538
        betterdays
        Participant

        Thanks for your reply confused123 I hate the fact he’s all powerful and happy. Cutting contact totally my worker said I have to or I won’t function properly x

    • #12542
      Serenity
      Participant

      Yes, no contact. The only way.

      All his going out to the pub, even on your birthday: firstly, it’s all bravado, secondly they are so horrid they love to hurt us. It makes them feel powerful.

      My ex really trusted the knife mentally and emotionally.

      The only way to heal is to go no contact so his evil can’t touch you.

    • #12543
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hey Hun

      I know a lot of us struggle to do no contact, i for one really struggle , but it really is the best way, it took me 18 months to totally cut him out , now when he leaves v m whichis just abusive anyway , i just record and report him , before i used to listen and just get upset . Its amazing the difference it does make , how mentally focused we can be withou them in our heads, i started with a few weeks no contact then built it upto months to few months and eventually after moving towns after a year he just pesters me every few months , silent bombing they call it, hopefully this final warning from police will stop him long term, so dont give up, at moment is hard to beleive no contact can make that much differnce but it does, trust us we speak from experience . Ands beleive me hun , this happy game they play is exactly that a game, my ex used to say it doesnt matter ive left his got his families around, his gonna find some one better… ALL MIND GAMES

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