There is a celebration happening in our family soon. Everyone is looking forward to it apart from my husband. One of my adult children rang today to say she’s fed up with his attitude, he’s showing no interest in anything and her fear is that he will ruin the celebration and upset everyone. I sympathised and tried to reassure her that I’d be keeping an eye on him but she let rip. How he had spoilt much of her childhood, showed no interest in her or her siblings, is so selfish and some of the memories of her childhood are making her furious with him. She said he ruined a certain important part of her life which had a detrimental effect on her future. Then I had a message from another child, I started to panic because this child can never know the true extent of the abuse because she is so fragile. I’m at a loss about what to do. I feel sick, anxious, panicky, I want to throw up, run away, forget everything, I want a time machine, I want to apologise to daughter for not leaving him, I feel so weak and pathetic.
Abuse thrives on secrecy. Make sure you and your children are talking to someone about the abuse. It can last a life time and destroy lives long after the abuse ends. I spent decades trying to fix a problem that wasn’t mine. Get support from women’s aid x