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This week has been one of the worst and by far most overwhelming & scary weeks of my life. Within 24hours my life has turned upside down and I am in a situation I could never imagine myself to be in. I have left my abusive relationship after (detail removed by moderator) months and the man whom I thought I knew inside out is now in prison. Iv experienced all mental, emotional, verbal & physical abuse but my eyes have only just been opened to his abuse now I am out, I realised too little to late. I fled our home on foot with our baby early hours of the morning and phoned the police as the verbal abuse lead to drastic physical abuse and as a mother had to protect my child. The first 48hours after the events I was in a state of shock, feeling numb and not able to make sense of my emotions after countless visits/calls from police and other organisations. But now my emotions are coming to the surface and I am finding it all too overwhelming; I have shed countless tears and they just keep coming. I’m playing the waiting game (detail removed by moderator). In such early days how do you manage these emotions & feelings? How do I be strong and get through each day? I do not know how to put one front in front of the other.
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Hi Flowerbubble, first of all well done for leaving. You and your baby must have been terrified. I’m so sorry you both had to endure that. I made my first post on here some time ago with exactly the same title – early days. I had also experienced severe violence and my life was upside down in 48 hours.
The early days are the hardest. You’ve made a good move posting on here. These ladies got me through the darkest days with their advice and warmth. He’s safely away from you now. Take some time to look after yourself. Do you have friends and family who can help? I found peace, quiet and some meditation helped calm me down, I was also prescribed anti depressants and they helped enormously with few side effects. Speak to your GP. You might also need some trauma Counselling after what you’ve been through.
Keep posting here, you will get lots of great advice and lots of love. I’m afraid I can’t be much help on the legal side of things but I’m sure you’ll get some good tips.
Take care and try to be calm. Lots of love xx
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Hi HunkyDory, thank you for a reply, I was so nervous posting it! I’m at home with my mum I have only told one friend what has happened she’s been really supportive and my family are supporting me but I still feel so alone. Even though there are thousands of men & woman who are going through this I still feel like nobody truly understands. I will have 5 minutes where I forget everything that has happened and I think I’m ok and then the reality hits all over again. I can’t help but wonder what he is doing in prison and if he is ok. He has hurt me in an unimaginable way yet I’m still hoping he is ok and I hate myself for that. Mediation isn’t really my thing, I can never get myself in the right frame of mind for that sort of thing but I’m glad it helped you and thank you for the advice.
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It’s natural hun, google trauma bonding and the cycle of abuse. You loved and trusted this man and of course you can’t switch your feelings off like that, but it’s useful to read up on what you’re feeling. I still wonder what he’s up to but now I’ve come to terms with what he did I couldn’t give a t*ss what he’s doing and how he is. We’re all different and recovery is a very personal journey. Don’t be nervous, you’re amongst friends xx
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