Elation

[Headcook]

The elation is not there
I’ve become unwell and falling backwards I feel
My gp says it’s normal to feel elated when leaving then the anxiety panic can begin to set back in
Feels like this may be happening

Had a weekend around son and partner it was disgusting to witness how they truly are with each other in front of grandchild and me on this occasion
Nothing I didn’t no but seeing it now from outside in is horrific
Made me see what it looked like when it was happening to me from him
Triggered badly then got poorly and can’t pick up from it

Had panic attack as hard to get breath ended up on the floor
Didn’t see this coming you think you done the hard bit leaving but they can’t prepare you for this hitting you like a ten tone bus

Going to self refer for someone to talk to via gp surgery if I can find the specific help I need
I no what I need
Adult child to parent abuse

Heartbroken as was doing well I thought.

Hc

[KIP.]

I was elated for about two weeks then I was hit by the PTSD bus. Time to limit yourself three things a day, and stop contact with the very person who is dragging you down.

[iliketea]

Sorry to hear this, Im having the same reaction, must be a thing. Have you tried square breathing, that can help with panic attacks?
Begin by slowly exhaling all of your air out.
Then, gently inhale through your nose to a slow count of 4.
Hold at the top of the breath for a count of 4.
Then gently exhale through your mouth for a count of 4.
At the bottom of the breath, pause and hold for the count of 4.
Some people call it box breathing. It can help.
Keep posting. And I agree with KIP if you can, limit the contact or no contact, I’ve noticed I’m worse after any tiny contact I have had to have (children, random emails sent etc). Rest as much as you can too. We got to heal from this. Its going to take a bit of time. you’ll get there. xx

[Headcook]

Thank you.

Today has been worst day yet I’m off on sick from work. And all I’ve done is cry and have panic and anxiety.

The Breathing is scary.
Have reached out for mental health support I need to speak with someone process this no how to manage all this.
They seemed to get me. Said I was very clear what I needed and that made her clear what she had to try and organise for me
She even phoned me back to say they were working as hard as they could for me as they are very concerned for me. Even text Samaritans phone no for the weekend
They phoning again Monday.

It’s just day to day stuff all to much
Like my phone going and it shows my mum phoning well she discarded me 5 years ago a narc I believe she is now.
Haven’t seen her no contact now today. !

Why now why today.
I need to heal she won’t help me heal I will be replacing abuse from son with her
Can’t do her
Won’t do her.
How dare she do this now.

Sorry it’s not abuse I’m suffering but all this is I suppose a consequence of years of misery.

Hc.

[Author]

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