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    • #139208

      Hi I left my abuser and was given temporary accommodation in a different city, well I have cried everyday since moving here its temp accommodation, mixed genders and shared kitchen. I’m very fragile right now as it took alot for me to leave with my children. And even though we are grateful I cant help feeling fear, scared of the environment, jumpy if I hear a man’s voice, but no one listens to me. We are so unhappy and uncomfortable I have cried everyday since being here. I spoke to who gave us this accommodation they referred me to the council I spoke to the council who refused to change the accommodation I’m stuck and think I should just go home.

    • #139225
      Main Moderator

      Hi Poorbear,

      I’m so sorry to hear this. Understandably, you are feeling anxious in such an environment.
      You can contact the local domestic abuse service in the area you are now in to advocate to either housing due to being placed in such an unsuitable place (council may have refused to help, but a support worker can challenge this decision), or they can do searches for a women’s only refuge for you to relocate to.Find your local service here.
      You can also contact Women’s Aid, Live Chat service, as they too, can do searches for refuges for you.
      Free from any phone, you can also call the 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247. They should be able to do refuge searches for you too.
      I hope this helps. Do keep posting to let us know how you are getting on.
      Take care,


    • #139231
      Twisted Sister

      Hi Poorbear

      My heart goes out to you, what a huge leap to make, and I am so sad you have landed in such unsuitable accommodation instead of a women’s refuge.

      Any refuge can be a hectic place, but at least you won’t hear the sound of male voices, and yes, no wonder you are constantly in tears. It must be very frightening for you.

      Please do post whenever you need someone to hear you, its so important when those around that need to hear are not listening to your very basic needs at this difficult time.

      There are Refuges in many different places, you need to feel safe and be safe away from men while you try to get back on your feet, and get support from other women so you don’t feel threatened.

      We’re here for you and hope to offer words of support and encouragemetn without any judgement to get you through this and out to some peace in your life.

      I have to say, that until I read Lisa’s reply I had thought all Refuges were single sex, for women only. It sounds like there are refuges with men in, I didn’t know this was the point of women’s Refuge.

      Oh dear, as there are so few Refuges so places are limited anyway. I am alarmed that you weren’t told you, as a vulnerable woman with children, wouldn’t be told that you were going into a mixed sex shared accommodation.

      Hang on in there, there are many here can relate to your feelings and what you’ve all been through, keep talking to us and getting support all you can.

      warmest wishes


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