Emotional abuse

[Gruss]

Now that I know it’s emotional abuse am I willing to put an end to it? Keep asking myself that Q but can’t get to a point of taking a decision about my future. Stonewalling, silent treatment, controlled, making major purchases or other decisions without my input or consideration for how it makes me feel or regardless of how many times I’ve communicated how it makes me feel. Yet I get back to this feeling of being so numb and unable to make decisions for myself. I am dependent on him for everything. I tried gaining my power back but he’s always a few steps ahead and I keep falling in my own traps. Is there an easier way of letting loose without him noticing? He keeps track of anything I do, shows up where I am unannounced. Yesterday I decided to leave yet I was so paralysed that instead I spend the whole day crying and feeling so miserable. Went to dr after I notice yellowish discharge which can be just normal discharge or an STD. Waiting on urine and swabs test results. Do I then leave if it’s positive? Have child still at (detail removed by moderator) and older kids (detail removed by moderator). How do I get back employment market when I’ve been house wife for so long. Told me there are lots of woman who would give up their current lives to be in my position and it is on repeat in my mind. Where do I start? What about the assets we’ve accumulated? He won’t let it slide without punishing me for it. I can’t afford college fees for older kids. Even if he leaves I can’t afford to take over mortgage or keep supporting my sick mother. I’m a mess emotionally and financially. How to get out seamlessly. Anyone

[KIP.]

Get some legal advice to start with. Abusers and liars and you may be entitled to a lot more than you think from the marriage. Slowly build that support network from lawyer advice, domestic abuse charity, other victims and forums, even the police domestic abuse unit.

[Gruss]

Thanks KIP

[Hetty]

You are asking a lot of big and important questions. It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed with it all. It’s important to break things down into smaller steps. Kip’s right – start getting advice. It’s a really hard thing to do when still living with the abuse. Break things down into one or two things you could reasonably do without overwhelming yourself or causing him to be suspicious.
There’s never a good time to leave really. I kept thinking, just another few years, I’ll wait until my child leaves school etc. I eventually left when it was literally get out or risk ruining my mental health for good and allowing my child to continue to be subjected to unacceptable behaviours with god knows consequences in the future. I am quite a long time out now.
You don’t have to live this way ❤️

[Pink-butterfly]

All your questions are the same ones I have… I no exactly how you feel.
I hope you can find the answers xx

[Author]

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