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How do they emotionally manipulate us? How do they break us down that way? Ive always feared my ex being emotionally abusive to our child and tried so hard to get professionals to understand but they just didnt see what I was saying. I know how emotionally manipulative he can be and it scares me how he got in my head and broke me down at times to do what he wanted. My child has told me that he goes on and on to them during child contact as they wont do what he wants. For example, He asks our child if they want to do something. Our child says no but he wont accept no for an answer, he keeps on at our child, asking why not and then saying what he wants and then says that our child has to, etc etc. After saying no, my child just says nothing as he goes on. But now he has told our child that when they say nothing he is going to assume that means yes! My child says he doesn’t listen and they don’t like it when he goes on and on at them. Its heartbreaking that our children have to go through this.
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Is there anyone in the meantime you’re child can speak to about this. Do you have a social worker or liason officer or even someone at school. It’s so sad when your child is hurt like this and we feel powerless to do anything. Would your child agree to not going to see them for a while. After all if a child behaves badly there’s consequences, why not show his dad the consequences of his bad behaviour. It’ll show your child he can have control in these situations. They will eventually see him for what he is and more than likely have nothing to do with them. It’s taken my son a while to see his own father fir the person he is,but it does happen.
Best wishes IWMB 💕💕 -
This is not a criticism of you, I know..how difficult this is…still, even though mine is older…
It is so important after what you have all been through that a child’s decisions and voice is respected. You can be an excellent role model in this…and sounds like you are already…
Obviously age-appropriate decisions…but you can strengthen your child’s hand (and mind) by giving them say in little decisions as far as you can. Even ‘do you want baked beans for tea or poached egg?’ etc
This should help them with contact, eventually their voice will be stronger and before you know it hopefully they will be saying to their dad: ‘actually dad, I would rather do a) rather than b)’…
Just a thought. If this advice does’t speak to you, just ignore it and I won’t be offended at all…just thought I’d offer that.
I feel you are doing really well posting this, it is an issue for many of us
ftc
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