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Backstory – psychological and emotional abuse but death by 1000 cuts rather than anything i can present as hard evidence. Some manipulative sexual abuse too – again so covert its hard to put my finger on it. Master gaslighter.
Ex left for OW (detail removed by moderator) after caught cheating, got the whole thinly veiled i feel so sad i have cause myself hurt sob story at the start. Quickly turned into emotional punishments as soon as he realised i was cracking on with divorce etc. Hes refusing to engage with solicitor.
Meanwhile im here, his family are either n*********s themselves or enablers and coupled up with him using my daughter to throw emotional punishments at me (all my family live (detail removed by moderator)) im at the end of my ability to cope.
Found out today his mum has been hosting sleepovers with him and this new woman and her kids (his overnights have to be supervised by her due to his drug use). I am waiting for the court order to say i can sell the house and move back home to family, until then im at the mercy of him and his family ramping up the hate campaign. I think tonight ive hit rock bottom. I feel so trapped, so at the end of his puppet strings. Im trying to stay so positive, im exhausted, ive got 2 kids (detail removed by moderator) and i dont know how much longer i can cope.
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Ahh G, I remember this well, the desperation I felt too often and for too long. B****y awful place. The legal system is so slow and there’s no quick exit out is there, it goes on for months.
During this time the Samaritians were my life line, I felt I could just let it all go and out to this person on the end of the phone, no filter, no worrying about what the other person may think or feel because I didn’t know him/her, and I have to say, it really did help, I was like a pressure cooker but after speaking with them I felt much better because I got what I needed from it, an emotional out pouring, to be heard and feel cared for.
I know it’s hard but try not to think about what is going on in his house or his affairs, you have no real idea and anything you do imagine will be very different to the reality – always is isn’t it. How many times have you imagined how something will go only to discover when it does happen it is nothing like? We tend to think he’s having a party, when this is not true at all.
I also found when I got like you have described that I was actually exhausted, so if I needed bed rest I took it, if I needed to do nothing I did just this, then slowly I was able to start doing more things for me, book a haircut, see a friend, go to a mediatation or yoga class, make something healthy to eat; switches your focus from him back to you.
In time you really won’t care what he’s up to and you will get your life back, only it will be better than ever before. Just got to ride this out until court concludes and you are free – that day will come! x
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