This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  ihaveavoice. 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #82574
     ihaveavoice. 
    Participant

    my mother has abused me for (detail removed by moderator) years. Extremely bad emotional and physical abuse. physical attacks. mocking. making fun of me. laughing at me. joking about me. manipulating me. lying to others to make them believe her. im finally out the house, but there’s still a lot of manipulating by her to make me go back there.

  • #82580
     KIP. 
    Participant

    That’s very sad to hear. I’m glad you’ve managed to leave. My advice would be to cut contact with her as much as possible. Build a life away from her and gradually distance yourself altogether. Just because she is your mother doesn’t give her the right to be abusive. Maybe if you stop engaging with her, she will realise you won’t accept her abuse anymore?

  • #82584
     ihaveavoice. 
    Participant

    I actually blocked her on (detail removed by moderator). I think that is one step ive needed to take for a long while..

  • #82593
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    She sounds dreadful; if you’ve had a loving mother then you simply can not understand when someone else cuts contact with theirs, so be mindful of this as you will come into contact with people who simply cant relate to this and think you should love and respect her always. Lucky for them that they have had this kind of mother hey.

    This can create conflicting messages in a person head, I love my mum I should be kind to her, I really can not bare to be in her company. Thing is, in most cases the adult child needs to cut contact, some do indefinately, even move country to get away from her, others estrange themselves for a period of time, until they have made sense of things and have recovered from her parenting.

    There’s a good book called Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers which is easy to read, not jargonistic and could be helpful.

    Another is Youre not crazy, your mother is.

    You’re out now, you owe this woman nothing, you need to put yourself and your healing first now for a while x

  • #82594
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    Interesting user name, all children of N mothers feel they never had a voice – you’re taking your power back already with this name. You do have a voice x

  • #82609
     ihaveavoice. 
    Participant

    thank you Fizzylem
    thanks for the book suggestion! I will definetly keep that in mind, about the comments etc! ive had quite a number of them already– they just dont understand… im glad some people DO understand!

    Since I moved out over (detail removed by moderator)months ago, it’s gotten that little bit easier to use my voice when I want to

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