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Am having such a bad day. Been out (timeframe removed by Moderator) okay happy day. Return home sitting chatting with daughter then husband returns atmosphere changes. He has a problem with something being left in the kitchen. We’ve all had silent treatment for (timeframe removed by Moderator) anyway because (detail removed by Moderator). To which of add i do other things in my breaks. Dishes, washing etc. I ran out of time and am monitored on my system so must be on my laptop at given time. We’ve argued, it’s all my fault and it’s basically because I challenge him when he complains. I do the best I can work full time look after house. I suffer with a chronic problem not everyday but a lot. I am exhausted probably age related. We’ve got to the point were he’s like he won’t go I dnt have anywhere 2 go or 2 confide in anyone. I just want to curl up in a ball forever but I’ve (number removed by Moderator) teenagers and this is affecting the (age removed by Moderator) terribly. This sounds so minimal but I’ve had a life time of this and suppressing how I feel. (timeframe removed by Moderator) I said back to him all the things he’s said 2 me. Am an idiot am stupid and I don’t know nothing. I am truly feeling defeated. He tells me how wen we finish ill have to sort everything myself. Which I do anyway. He’s told me he doesn’t hit me doesn’t cheat doesn’t drink etc to which I answered maybe easier if he just hit me. How stupid am I. He’s told me am fat I don’t look after myself and ill never sort myself out. Yes I’ve put weight on couple stones but I get my hair done coloured etc wear make up most days. Yes I can sometimes be a little scruffy especially on cleaning days but I do try. Am just at the end of tether I can’t breathe I can’t see the end if the road. I want out but am scared of letting go. What have I come to, who am I, I have no idea. I am so ashamed of myself and what this I doing to my kids.
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Maybe, I totally feel you. I’m still in a relationship that does not involve physical but so much emotional abuse and getting very angry, I also look at my kids and my heart breaks that I have allowed myself to get to this point and why on earth before kids did I not see clear like a do now. I wish I had the answers for u but I don’t. Reaching out to someone would but I also know how hard this can be. Big hugs to u xx
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