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    • #171871
      penguin5678
      Participant

      Hi, I ended my emotionally abusive relationship back in (detail removed by moderator) but we are still living together along with our two young children. He is refusing to move out despite originally agreeing to do so. I believe he is exerting control over me by not leaving and over the months his behaviour has been concerning at times (I reported two incidents to the Police) but my Solicitor has advised that I do not have any legal recourse to protect myself or the children. Things have been peaceful recently but over the past (detail removed by moderator) months he’s been trying to exert control however he can, and accusing me of coercive control/harassment without any basis, which has gradually made me feel more and more trapped inside my own home. My parents have both died and with the (detail removed by moderator) I have bought a house nearby (completing (detail removed by moderator)), because I’ve reached the end of my tether..  he doesn’t know yet as I’m quite worried about how he will react, my Solicitor is drafting a letter to let him know.

      I’m extremely anxious about the next few weeks so I would like advice please on how to manage the actual process of moving out, like the logistics – because I’m not sure how difficult he is going to make it, but judging by past experience he is going to cause issues – ie most of the furnishings were bought by me and I can’t afford to furnish another house, so I will be needing to take most of it with me. I’m conscious that when he gets the news he is going to react badly as I’m taking away the control he’s had over me in some form for (detail removed by moderator) years.
      I just can’t imagine he will let me go quietly. Thank you very much in advance.

    • #171874
      Marmalade
      Participant

      Hi penguin5678,

      This sounds a really miserable situation. Well done on buying a property and moving on, you will be so relieved when you get in your own home.

      On the furniture issue I think it would be a really good idea to get your solicitor’s advice as it may make a difference if you are married or not. If you are married then the starting point is 50/50 and the court doesn’t pay much attention to who originally paid for what. If you were just living together then who owns what may be more significant.
      As you suspect that you removing furniture will be a flashpoint, please speak to your solicitor so you know your rights. Maybe your solicitor can add to the letter the items you wish/you legally are able to take.
      Good luck. I hope you will find peace and happiness in your new home.

    • #171926
      penguin5678
      Participant

      Thank you so much for your reply. We are not married so I think I would retain what I’ve paid for. I’m waiting for a draft letter from my solicitor and will make sure there’s something in there which sets things out clearly for my ex. I’m mostly worried about the bit where he finds out but I’ve had really kind offers from friends that if I need somewhere to go in an emergency they will be there for me and the kids, which is reassuring.

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