21st March 2018 at 9:43 am #56175
I can’t across a new term today- euphoric recall.
A lady was asking why being out of a toxic relationship can feel a darker place than when you’re in it.
Apart from the feelings of guilt, obligation, self-blame and fear, which can continue to affect the survivor, as well as trauma and PTSD etc, Euphoric Recall refers to our tendency to look back at past events in a positive light, whilst overlooking the negative effects associated with that event. It has been cited as a reason for continuing dependency- such as substance misuse, and an obsession with thinking over past events.
It’s a nostalgic phenomenon- selective memory.
I think it’s so important to remind ourselves always that things really were that bad, and we are no less than blessed if we have got out, hard going though the recovery might be.
21st March 2018 at 12:47 pm #56179freedomtochooseBlocked
I would agree. Btw could someone just explain to me how to start a new thread. I’ve looked everywhere and can’t find the right thing to press. Duh. Thanks.
21st March 2018 at 6:04 pm #56190
Hi Freedom to Choose,
You make sure you are logged in, then you scroll down and click on one of the general titles – such as General Discussion, or Having a Bad Day?- and an empty box should appear at the bottom if you scroll down, where you can write.
21st March 2018 at 9:43 pm #56201GratefulParticipant
That’s why I think its so important to keep journals of what happened – I can remind myself of just how awful he was; it keeps me away from him now I’ve left.
21st March 2018 at 10:23 pm #56210starryeyedParticipant
This was a blessing to read this evening. I’ve been feeling like I’ve been forgetting the reality of what happened with my ex – euphoric recall makes complete sense. There was one incident I was thinking about today and I just couldn’t understand why I had felt uneasy and on edge during it – someone else pointed out that my ex was checking up on me and controlling my whereabouts during this incident. I just hadn’t seen it – or chose not to see it. I agree with Grateful, I wrote everything I could remember down after I left my ex and it was safe to do this, and now when I feel uncertain I can look over it and remember the facts. Maybe selective memory is a way of us trying to keep ourselves safe? Like suppressing the reality in our minds because it is so traumatic for us to think about or even relive again.
23rd March 2018 at 6:41 am #56250
I think you are right, Starry Eyed,
I think we try to protect ourselves from the horrifying reality by downplaying their nastiness.
I think facing the fact that they really are that horrible and yet focussing upon the truth that we got out, or survived, or kept going despite everything ( for those still in the relationship) helps us to see our strength, or ability to overcome.
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