13th May 2020 at 10:08 pm #103207freedomfries01Participant
I’ve connected with someone in the outside world and they know the worst things that have happened to me. Things that nobody knows and feelings that I have that are so putrid I didn’t think I’d ever share it with another soul. It is a huge step and one I’m finding hard to deal with. But you know what I did it and nothing can be as bad as these last few weeks have been. I can see that I’ve made some really positive moves but it’s hard for me to even admit that I might be making positive steps I don’t know how to think good things
13th May 2020 at 11:03 pm #103208BraelynnParticipant
You just think them my sweet…. You just think them and cuddle them like you would a little candle in your being. You keep it from the wind, eh? I do so remember, I do and it’s different for everyone, we are our only little unique beings here. Snowflakes, no two alike. I remember escaping abusive situation like mine growing up and others and it took time for me to calm down, it did. But I had to reach into my soul about the things that make me happy. Whether a flower, the smell, water running in a brook, certain music, children’s laughter, my own, my pets, whatever it may be….that i clung to.
You huddle in and hunker down and wait for help because you did let go of the emergency flare and it was seen. Who, if you don’t mind me asking…..who did you connect with? Are they someone professional or someone you just know?
Your positive steps are beautiful my love and if I could come there and hug you I would. I really would. These are forests, black forests that our little selves don’t know their way about. They don’t, god love them…..those little ones we once were and still are inside they don’t know these forests. Scares them.
But you need to focus now on getting out of the black forest, straight line out, eh? No circles. We don’t do circles, will be the death of us if we do. So you drown out the forever little trolls that whisper things in our ears that keep us bound and tied to whatever will pull us downward. I don’t listen. You don’t listen. Why should we? I mean we do have our will and we can and must execute it against such, right?
C’mon on my bonnie lass……….come now to the river, to the ocean and sit. Come to where, all your dreams and aspirations can be rekindled and lit up and on fire. You think there is not blackness, soot and poison in us all? Yes indeed, in the greatest of us tis so. The mightiest of all of us who push us to greatness they all know of this. Have sat in the boiling tub of it. Oozed out of them and through them. Nothing new to people of greatness so it’s maybe time that you lifted your UP and actually considered that you have greatness with you. Because you do.
I do wish I could have you in my home and just spoil you rotten. I am good at that. You could rant and rave and vent and all that and I’d just let you. I don’t have the answers to everything but what I do know is once your own medicine woman inside is up and running and healthy – she does. And her medicine is – all about “you” . So all I’d want to do is get you healthy up to that point where you realize all this and then off you go.
But of course you could come back all you want and if you need a defender I’m much like a bear you’d never want to mess with. I think it’s the – she’s crazy thing and unpredictable – that scares most off but if they don’t adhere to that one, I have no problem showing them.
I love my Sisterhood. I really do. We don’t have to all agree or whatever. Geez, we’re all just wandering about trying to understand this crazy existence. I bump into more walls than most and wonder why I got there? No matter. What I do know here is that you are doing very very well. How to think good things? Concentrate on what you love………..listen to music you love, watch things on youtube that you love, eat and ingest what is inspiring to you. You have to learn all over again – who you are? It’s a “getting to know you kind of event”. We all go through that one. It’s part of the inner child healing, it really is.
We never got to know “who we are” and establish a real self identity. It was unplugged and plugged into someone else’s identity and uses. So now, there’s an opportunity to say – who I am I? What do I like, dislike? What makes me happy? What makes me want to dance? What makes me angry, gets my shackles up and why is that? It doesn’t have to be a horrible time. I love that you are here and that you are sharing and we all come from different angles of the same sphere. We do. And that’s good actually because it helps us all to get a clearer picture of what’s going on. You are positioned here, I am over here on the ledge, someone else is in the bushes, someone else is on the rooftope, someone else is in the gutter but we all have different perspectives and all so very important and valid. So, considered yourself hugged by me and like I said, if I had you in tow, you’d be like a little princess in my house. XXXX
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