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    • #111780

      Hi everyone

      Having a bad day today and it’s nearly time for my ex to leave and his behaviour is no different and i am thinking he will kick off once I tell him.its time to go. My family will be here to support me but he’s doing so many drugs it’s quite hard to know how he will be as he is unpredictable.

      I’m getting ready to be strong and determined I’m the day as he’s been given enough time and i can cope with him being here anymore. Tried packing all his stuff up today and need to clean the room.hes been in, buts he’s not done anything today except do cocaine all day. It’s basically a drug den in the room in my home Its so upsetting but I know I need to keep going in order to get him out of here.

      Does anyone have an tips for what I can do or approach this?

      Also once he’s gone will I be able to do a restraining order so he can’t cope back I am scared of him coming back and acting out.

      Thank you

    • #111788

      Hi Butterfly567, I’m afraid I don’t have any answers for you as I did it the other way around and it was me who left.

      Have you spoken to Women’s Aid? They may be able to help you with a safe plan.

      It’s worrying that he hasn’t packed up or done anything. It makes me wonder if he really intends to go.

      I’m glad that you won’t be alone on the day but your family must be careful about how they handle this. If he won’t go, maybe you can call the police?

    • #111804

      Hi Butterfly567, my abuser used cocaine and alcohol recreationally, never in the house but when he was out at the weekends. I learnt from him that if I hadn’t of left, then he never would of. He’d of quite happily carried on abusing for asking as I would of tolerated it.

      I managed to make the break, and honestly I felt like a 200 ton weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Men that abuse anyway are incapable of loving or caring for us, but when they’re addicts too it’s 10 times worse. Your abuser will be there for convenience and in reality where else will he go? Would he be able to stay with family members and use drugs in their houses? It sounds to me like he has no intention of leaving. If you want out of this then maybe you’ll have to make the first move. It is very unfair, but these are not normal fair people we’re dealing with. Xx

    • #111808

      Thank you for replying yes i agree my house looks like a drug den it’s terrible and I’ve asked and asked and tried to be positive and help him sort stuff so he cannot say I have sprung me asking him to leave. I am hoping I will be able to ask him to go soon as all legal work will be done. I think he will have to go to friends has his family disowned him. They are fair they take advantage and the abuse and behaviour makes it worse.
      I’m just scared that if I tell him to leave and he puts up a fight and i have to get police and he has drugs in the house which I will be staying on then I will be held responsible for that. I’ve done everything by the book so far and i don’t want to have any issues at the last hurdle.
      It’s so hard I just want it over and him not allowed in the home anymore x

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