- This topic has 9 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 7 months ago by
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Doesnt it makes you angry Confused? That they think it’s that simple. It upsets me that.in some backgrounds women are just sent back and sent back….even when everyone knows. Good that your parents said no. I had people in my own family who pushed and pushed for me to go back.
I remember when they introduced the British tease and someone said making women speak English will help women out of domestic violence.Not if you feel.like you have no choice. So glad you are staying strong. -
I know really does p**s u off, knowing they would never accept u in family again anyway, would make your life triple hell, give u all the looks for stepping out of the family house as u can image comming from an asian background culture, and all this just to keep their family name and respect . I’m not even going to go into how much i would get beaten up and all those mind games to make u go mental .
Doing everything possible to delay my divorce and now have cheek to ask will i come back when they know i bloomin well never would, personally i think the ex b in law got them to ask , again this is all a mind game to see how i react, they really think im that stupid -
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hey hun
To be honest their have been times when I feel like telling, but people avoided me and sensed it was something bad that i came home, have told few people but when i came home i was just tearful anyway and my focus was to remain composed, i was determinded i was not going to let this family break me , lot of people told me they knew how bad the family was, and what seems like a blur now but i know my parents told our side of the family and the message got spread indirectly if that makes sense, i got mix reaction likes i dont get why u left after all this time to good u left and took the step to leave ,our asian culture can be quite shamefully, even if they know they dont care , its just some one to gossip about , i find a lot of people are two faced and will just say nod their heads and agree . I chose not to give the community the satisfaction of knowing the details as i find people dont get it anyway and we are left to deal with the triggers, i let his close family members know what he did to me and they choose not to speak to me now as i am looked at as the one that brought shame to their family, some of his family particualr i see it as their choice and choose to focus on my recovery, the fact they dont speak to me ,the elderly community just stare at me and wait for me to approach them and give them the juicy detail; they did me a favour by ignoring me as it actually helps as i can heal and know to keep away from what i see as toxic , yes it does hurt but part of my recovery i have learnt how people behave reflects them me not me , i am responsible for my behaviour
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Let them say what they like and think what they like. What’s most important here now is you. You deserve to live the rest of your life in peace and happiness- and that means far away from him.
Focus on building yourself up and expressing your personality through your talents- talents that he tried to squash. He doesn’t deserve to be listened to or pardoned. His family should keep their distance from you out of respect and shame. x
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hey hun
yes thats what i do do, just focus on myself and how can move forward. I dont bother keeping in touch with them , as to exx, i think most of family have just left him to himself, my eldest tells me how he is on his own and living a very bad lifestyle but i try not to focus my attention towards him as it pulls me down, i know his responsible for his actions and even though he may regret now i just know to stay away , loving him just hurts too much and i know now that wasnt love what he did
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