Ex scaring kids

[Serenity]

Not only have I had my eldest child telling me that he’s hated his looks all his life because his dad has made fun of them (as he did mine- my ex said I had heavy legs and a long nose, and said my son had heavy legs and a big forehead, it seems), now my youngest had to go to the doctor’s today, not least to stop him from panicking.

He fainted yesterday in a lesson at school, and was still feeling wobbly today, but he’d also worked himself into a lather because my ex told him that he was ‘high risk’ (!) of developing diabetes, because there was diabetes in his family.

Apparently my ex also said that my son’s ‘heavy build’ and ‘slow metabolism! (!- he’s a child!) also meant he was a typical diabetes patient.

Apparently my son had been worried sick for 4 years, and this fainting fit just turned him.

I took him to the GP and was determined to be direct about my ex’s scaremongering. In front of my son, I said ( after the doctor had dealt with the other issues) that my ex had told my son what he did, and my son had worked himself into a panic.

The doctor was very reassuring and even gave my
son a urine stick to put his mind at rest.

My friend says that the GP will probably record it, but who knows. These abusers just go unchallenged, free to continue to the mental abuse.

At least the doctor put my son’s mind at rest.

[Go green light]

My ex is doing the same to my son. He is a bit young to fully understand it but I worry as he gets older how it will affect him. He has taken him to the doctors unnecessarily saying there are things wrong with him yet when they test everything there is nothing wrong at all. It is just another way to try to get to me.

I have found that professionals are quite understanding if I explain things and it has also helped to document all the evidcence of all the times he tries to manipulate our son.

I try to be supportive to him and not saying bad things about his dad, but getting him to see that his dad may not be 100% right about everything. I guess how you approach this depends on their age. I started saying things like “Daddy might be a bit confused” and my son then turnedd round and said “No, Daddy’s lying”. So at least he could see what was going on.

Also the school have been having informal chats with him so if he is worried about anything he can talk to them. This started when my ex complained to the school that my son was not happy to come home with me and was scared of me. But it has backfired on him because now they have spoken to me and know more about the situation and how manipulative he can be.

I hope some of this helps.

[Serenity]

Thank you, Go Green Light.

I’m sorry that you have to suffer all that too.

I agree, it’s good to log everything, talk to professionals – these abusers end up showing themselves for who they are in the end.

I feel sorry for children, who are too young to understand the games.

My ex has never bothered taking either child to a doctor – he just likes to plant ideas in their heads that will frighten them.

[Ayanna]

I am so sorry to read this, Serenity.
I hope your GP made a record of this.

[Author]

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