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    • #171889
      Lolabear
      Participant

      Hello. Recently separated and going through divorce process after years of people (friends, family, professionals) telling me my marriage was toxic and emotionally abusive. Eventually I realised too, but still very recently.

      My (soon to be) ex, who before, prioritised work, himself, friends, going out, sleeping, TV is suddenly wanting the kids 50:50 (detail removed by Moderator) He also has a history of mental illness that he is now denying.

      I have been majority caregiver for kids whole lives, and he has not had the kids alone for more than a few hours before our separation, has never been involved with kids activities, parties or schooling. (detail removed by Moderator) he is claiming that he has been a very involved parent and that I have needed him as I have found parenting difficult. The lies and the twisting are awful, but I feel hopeful (detail removed by Moderator) I can prove how uninvolved he has been and how much I have done alone. And how well rounded and happy the kids are, given everything.

      He is now also “stopping” work and can have the kids “any time”…!

      Looking for advice but largely reassurance on this!

    • #171899
      tryingtosleep
      Participant

      Omg – it’s the lies that really get to you isn’t it.

      My ex’s lawyer is claiming he contributed 50/50 or more to household chores and childcare. I don’t think he even once cut their finger nails.

      He doesn’t know what involved means….

      Sorry, I don’t have much advice but if he has mental health issues (as mine does), then I would document it as much as possible as the children are likely to be safer with you.

      Good luck x

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