Ex trying to control things like babysitters

[Bunnyhop12]

Hi,

I live a few hours away from my family, but my ex he is trying to tell me (via a parenting plan we’re trying to agree to) that the only alternative people who can look after the children are grandparents. I am the lives with parent (detail removed by Moderator) and have them 80% of the time. I don’t think he’s allowed to insist on this but wanted to check? I am finding it really hard to enforce boundaries but I don’t think it’s fair on me to say I’m not allowed any alternative carer as I need to look after my own wellbeing and (after lockdown) occasionally do things in the evenings.

Thank you for you help in advance.

[KIP.]

He’s trying to bully you again. You have the right to leave your children with any responsible adult. We all need a break. Especially during a pandemic. It’s simply a continuation of his controlling behaviour. You’re the resident parent. You make the plan that suits you and let him know. He won’t ever cooperate so you need to do what’s best for you and your children. Something as straightforward as arranging a babysitter and he’s making a drama out of it. He’s now your ex for a reason. I would think it’s healthy for your kids to meet different people and not always go to grand parents. Grand parents may be a good choice if that suits you but they can’t be expected to be there always when you need them. It’s a good idea to have back up sitters and support. If it wasn’t the baby sitters it would be something else. Just be careful because you know when you tell him he’s not getting his own way, like the toddler he is there will be a tantrum. These men have controlled us by fear in the past. Don’t let him in your head anymore. Your kids. You’re in charge 👍

[Author]

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