- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 10 months ago by nbumblebee.
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10th June 2022 at 10:21 pm #145166Winter2022Participant
It was one of those long days where the yelling felt like days long. I’m so exhausted and want to leave but physically my body and my mind doesn’t make the next step. I’m used to the name calling and the put downs that never surprises me but he said he would finally leave today. I thought yes please do – as I can’t take that step forward. But you know what – he won’t leave. Why would he leave when he has all the power? I’d love to hear about what was the breaking point for someone to reach out for support/help to leave? I just can’t see a way out of this toxic life even though I want to end it so badly. I’m definitely trauma bonded.
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11th June 2022 at 8:17 am #145176BananaboatParticipant
You’re right he won’t leave. But he’ll say he is to manipulate you.
Everyone’s breaking point is different and it could be a big incident or just one small thing too many times.
It can also take several times to try to reach out and that’s ok, I found phone calls hard so the womansaid and refuge online chats were great for me, posting on here and educating myself, were all baby steps to getting out. Good luck xx
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11th June 2022 at 9:07 am #145177nbumblebeeParticipant
I have had so many moments where I go thats it enough but still I stay. I have posted on here dahs where im so strong so full of fight and determination tben posts of how lost and lonley and done I am. He breaks me I fix myself as best as i can then he breaks me again and on we go till maybe one day i cant fix it maybe i can no longer cover those cracks he has left what then?
Mine wont ever leave and even with all he says does to me I cant either Im worried something big will happen that cant be undone b4 i even think about leaving and then it will be too late. Im not doing great im making myself very poorly with all this and its not right.
I believe you will know when you are done there will come a point where you sit up and go NO, no more i deserve better when that comes i wish i knew but the more you learn the more you educate yourself arm yourself with knowledge support help love the better equipped you will be when that time is right be open be honest dont hide dont deny thats my problem still now i wont believe not deep down so open your eyes wide believe see and learn i am certain you will know when that breaking point hits.
Stay safe stay strong xxxxxx
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