Existing?

[Getmylifeback]

So nearly (detail removed by moderator) out now and things are ok but I just feel like I’m existing, not living.

I’ve not had 1 night out apart from at friends houses but recently went to a friend’s house party and I felt so awkward, like the odd one out. I feel like I’ve forgotten how to have fun, to laugh, let my hair down.

I hate looking people in the eye , want people to talk to me but also don’t and fund it hard to strike up conversation.

With my kids I’m fine and with family and close friends and work friends but I feel like 2 different people.

I feel I daren’t organise a night out as he’ll want kids to stay with him and will kick off if I dont give him first choice but my daughter doesn’t want to stay, so to avoid the issue I just stay at home.

I feel l can’t keep on top of everything, I’ll get on top of work and can’t shorten hours as can’t afford to drop salary but finding it so hard to fit in all kids stuff , homework etc plus housework, look after our pets and keep the house nice.

Skint and worrying about Christmas.

Not sure on point of post, just wanted to vent my frustrations.

[Escapee]

Hi 😊,

I’m out around the period as you and I feel exactly the same. I’m still processing it all and working my through the whole mess.

Don’t push yourself, allow yourself space; you will eventually start to feel more confident but it’ll take a while. The b***”**s put us through hell and screwed with our heads and hearts, it’s understandable that it will take us time to feel anything like our old selves not to met be able to trust new people…..I don’t know about you, but I look at men and wonder what behaviour they’re hiding underneath that veneer.

And as for the children, you have every right to say who babysits, especially as your daughter’s choice is way more important than his ego, let him chuck a wobble……it’s not his business anyhow when and if you go out.

Big hug
Xxxx

[Getmylifeback]

Hi Escapee thanks for posting.

I feel the same about men, if it wasn’t someone i know how can I trust them?

I also have anxiety around alcohol. I rarely drink as easier to drive than get taxis etc. But I find it hard around people that are drunk which I think is because when my husband drank he’d turn into a nasty person. I lived to dread the sound of a bottle being I’m screwed.

I stay up late and have to get up early. End up cleaning or ironing til 1am. It’s ridiculous! I know I’ll end up burning out of it carries on but by time I get kids in bed at 8pm and do their reading etc it’s 9, then always move to do etc.

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