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I keep seeing posts that ladies put up and think I know what he’s doing, but when your eyes are not fully open you don’t register the enormity of what the advice you are getting really means.
Does that make sense?
It’s frightening to watch others falling into the same traps as you have when you have seen the consequences.
I’m now fully no contact I have filtered emails to a folder so they don’t appear in my inbox. That way they are evidence but I don’t have to see or read them and not tempted to respond. -
Hi, recovery is definately a work in progress. It takes time for your thoughts to rationalise again. And for your mind to accept the abuse we have suffered. We’ve spent a long time in denial of the abuse but it’s a wonderful feeling in a way when you get clarity. Yes, it’s painful but just to begin to see through the fog of bullying manipulative behaviour and realise that it’s not us with the problem can be liberating.
No contact and time is the best advice I could ever give for healing. And be gently with yourself. Trauma is a horrific thing to recover from.
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What worries me is that I realise just how unable I was for a long time to articulate the abuse because I was in such a state of distress. If I had gone to court at that time I would not have been able to represent myself well at all. It makes me worry for other ladies trying to get their points across in court.
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Yes I agree about court. I was supposed to be fast tracked to court as a victim of domestic violence in 12 weeks. In reality it took well over a year but at the 12 week stage I was a wreck. PTSD etc. So I’m glad the dysfunctional justice system worked in my favour on that occasion. There was a lady on here who posted that when she gave evidence on custody the judge said she didn’t come across as an abused woman! Because she found the strength to stand up to her abuser and no doubt paid a heavy price with that awful aftershock that comes, the decision went in her husbands favour. It seems the odds are stacked against us.
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