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Has anyone else noticed a change in their abuser’s eyes when they are being horrible/when there is some sort of mental illness going on? I have seen – in different people – a sort of blank stare empty baleful eyes with no pupil just dark discs(first ex) and also I have seen their eyes seem to go red and watery with kind of a malevolent glee when they are getting one over on you or being wicked or sarcastic.(second ex). Also second ex looked different every time I saw him and his female friend looked different every time I saw her or different in each photo. Her eyes were black discs and her face was completely expressionless.
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Yes! Shark eyes; it’s like there’s nothing going on behind, almost not human; unfeeling / emotionless; ghost like; it can be like a look of survival not dissimilar to a wild animal in fear.
Yes he was sadistic, takes a gleeful pleasure from causing pain; used to see him smile when I was upset. Horrid x
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Same DM! Was like I could get nothing past him, not that I tried, but if I moved soemthing or bought something new into the house he’d spot it in a nano second; I could never have suprises either, he’d always find it hidden – just thought he was sharp and hyper vigiliant when I was with him – uber observant – but now it feels more creepy x
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Yes, his eyes changed a lot.
I was forced to hold eye contact with him when he was talking about his day, I wasn’t allowed to look anywhere else. When he talked about how awesome he was, there was a kind of joy in his eyes. I once looked away briefly because my phone beeped. When I looked back, his eyes were completely dark and empty but full of rage at the same time. The same look he always got before assaults. With his jaw clenching.
I once compared photos, ones of him and me and the ones he liked showing me where he was hugging or touching other women. He looked so happy in the photos with the other women, but eyes just flat and empty in photos with me. He said it was because I didn’t try hard enough to make him happy and should be better at being spontaneous like the other women in the other photos.
I wish he would have always had the eyes he had in the beginning, they looked full of love and happiness, in the end it was dark and rage. In the end I just knew once he got that look, it didn’t matter what I did, how perfect I acted, it just didn’t matter. That look and within minutes I’d be bruised somewhere. And after, they’d be smiling eyes again even if there was only a hint of a smile on his lips.
I can’t look anyone in the eye anymore. I don’t know if it was because he forced me to hold eye contact or if I’m too scared to see that expression in the eyes. -
Yes the changing from blue to black and the narrowing of the eyes when he was in the red phase of the sbusive cycle. When the point of no return had been reached in the cycle and he would unleash his worst abuse unto me (after the yellow-phase- “building up to abuse” phase). I couldn’t get over it the eyes. Pure black. It’s amazing you all notice it in ur abusers.
And my boss (who is a hard-core abuser) has the flat, lifeless, souless eyes), not bright,lively eyes like normal people.
I also noticed the eyes of a work colleague when she was giving me an “abusive lecture”. I was trying to make myself hold her gaze to not let her be dominant over an her brown eyes seemed so empty. It kind of made me feel shocked to see the eyes so empty.
I too Always sorry have a problem looking people in the eyes a lot of the time. I’m ok if I really trust them; feel safe with them and know them. Otherwise I find it hard. But maybe that’s ok. Maybe the fact that I can’t look them in the eyes is my body saying be wary; take ur time with this person. Who knows.
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