Family helping him

[Pinkturtle]

Are they abusing me too by lying for him? And by doing things together in secret and excluding me?

Snide comments and sneaky backhanded insults or criticism

I don’t even want to be invited anymore but it’s always happened, I was sat thinking maybe it’s me, but then I thought about it some more and wondered if there doing the same.

[Anonymous]

My ex tended to tell lies of what he wanted people to think about me. He likes ppl to think I left and took his son and broke his heart he had all the sympathy of ppl. But in actuality I was forced to leave for my safety and my sons safety. He didn’t mention to ppl why I left his threatening behaviour his uncontrollable temper. There was no reasoning or calming him down. His mum was fully on my side and completely seen all of his behaviour and told me I was doing the right thing. She knows exactly what he is like. She had many years ago been in abusive relationship so I think because she had been through similar things she knows what I am up against as for the rest of the family who seen all his behaviour and in the beginning told me I was doing the right thing. They have well and truly been talked into his version of thing. Even thought I have shown txts from him and they have been there an seen his abuse. His mum has even tried to set ppl right saying he has his own behaviour to blame on us splitting. I think myself unless they have been in an abused relationship they will never understand what it is to be controlled and abused and more likely to believe the abuser with there sob story. They manipulate us while we are in a relationship with them and the manipulate family members to be on there side also. X

[fizzylem]

I used to feel unwelcome with his family and friends for a while; long before I ended it, could not work out what had happened, just felt it, used to ask him about it, say I feel like somethings changed and I’m not welcome, I’ve noticed how they greet others and I wasn’t even offered a drink etc, and he said ‘its in your head’.

It wasnt until much much later I discovered he’d been berating me when he was with them – had been busy working away at a smear campaign, to try and justify his horrid actions. I think over time they grew to really dislike me, but this was based on what he had said about me, had nothing to do with my actions or the person I am, although I did stop going to see them more so, as I felt so unwelcome, which they probably took as me snubbing them.

It’s alienation isn’t it. More fool them if they believe him. When I think of this and what it did to my head and that he didnt consider this at all, how easily he lied and told me it was me – I can see just how cruel he really was/is – and this is what happened from just one lie – no wonder I felt like I was going mad as I also later realised he lied about everything – that he is a compulsive liar x

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