Viewing 2 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #51103
      duvetday
      Participant

      Hey…I’ve been out of my abusive relationship for a while now. I just feel totally c**p most of the time. Does anyone else find it hard to be alone? I don’t have kids or a companion animal (I would love both) and don’t work (signed off for a long time due to mental health stuff) so I have a lot of time to myself and honestly I hate it. I live with a friend but she is out a lot. Have lost some of my friends due to everything that happened with ex. I have 2 close friends but they live really far away. I’m lucky in that I do have some family who live nearby so I end up going there sometimes just so I can have company (which then I feel guilty about, that I’m just going so I don’t have to be alone). I just get totally overwhelmed with emotion a lot of the time, cry for ages and feel an unbearable sense of not wanting to be by myself. I want so badly to be able to cope better by myself… I don’t really have any current hobbies that I can do atm so that’s not helping. It just feels neverending atm. Don’t want to feel this way anymore.. thanks for reading ♡ x

    • #51106
      SunshineRainflower
      Participant

      Hi Duvetday,

      Thanks for your replies on my threads recently and I am sorry to hear you are feeling so low, your post could have been written by me so I can definitely relate, right down to being single with no children, being signed off work and my two best friends living far away! I am very lucky to have my cat, are you allowed a cat in your place?

      It sounds like some sort of hobby or group or volunteering might help to get you out and meeting some nice people. I am in the same boat, I don’t have a social life at the moment. I feel so fed up that I can’t find the motivation to try things, but I know it helps to get out for a few hours. What about helping other people, like at Christmas volunteering at one of the projects for the homeless? I am considering doing that this Christmas. I’ve enquired about a voluntary job that sounds quite good too, is there a list of volunteer roles in your area you could try? I like volunteering as there is no pressure, if you don’t like it you can just leave and often the people there are nice and understanding. Also you could try dog walking or cat sitting with the RSPCA, I have done these things and they are great if you like animals and you are really helping them out too.

      There’s also things like choirs, knitting groups, yoga classes, even women’s netball, whatever you are into. Could you see yourself trying something out like that? I found a sewing place the other day so I think I will go to one of their workshops. And I am hopefully trying out another yoga class this week if the weather is ok. It’s tiresome but I suppose we have to keep going. You can message me anytime on here too, I feel in a very similar situation.

      • #51115
        duvetday
        Participant

        Hi SunshineRainflower,
        Thanks so much for replying 🙂 yeh I can relate a lot to stuff you say in your posts as well! I remember you saying in another thread about your cat, that’s really cool. I love animals. I need to ask my landlord and landlady about pets, tbh tho I am so overwhelmed at all the steps I would need to take in adopting an animal, that I don’t end up doing anything about it…so annoying :/
        Yep I’ve actually been thinking about volunteering for the last few weeks. I found a local food bank and for days I have said to myself “right, tomorrow I’ll ring them” and then I never manage to do it 🙁 same with volunteering with animals. Just talk myself out of doing anything about it… even tho I know it would help, like you say.
        I have started to do a couple of things- Zumba class and badminton meet up, both of which I really enjoy. So that’s good. It’s just that there’s so many hours in a day 😮 so I defo need to find other things to do…
        I do play a couple of musical instruments but it’s really hit and miss whether I play/practise or not (almost always helps when I do) and often I just have those stupid depression thoughts of “what’s the point” when I think of doing it sometimes… I love art and crafts too (your sewing thing sounds good) but I’ve not got anything I’m into atm.. :/
        I think it will *hopefully* help when I get counselling/therapy sorted out but it seems impossible to get hold of anyone at this place that my local d.abuse service put me onto.. well I did speak to someone but for about 3 weeks have been trying to arrange an assessment… have been trying to sort out counselling since June… :/

    • #51125
      SunshineRainflower
      Participant

      I know how you feel about the depression thoughts, they get me often too. Today I have done the washing up, made pumpkin soup, sorted out some boring household tasks and that is pretty much it. I wanted to do some art/craft work I enjoy and could have hoovered and done a load of other things but just felt really lethargic all day, it is snowing and was dark most of the day so I didn’t bother leaving the house when usually I’d at least go for a walk.

      I can talk you through the steps of adopting a furbaby anytime, it’s actually super easy and really rewarding and then you could have a little fluffy companion following you around all day to hang out with 🙂
      I volunteered with the RSPCA for a while before adopting and that was good too as you get to meet lots of different animals and work out which type would suit you best.

      Maybe just set yourself one task to do each day, like tomorrow it could be ‘ring food bank.’ Then reward yourself after with a cup of tea or baking a cake or whatever you like. Depression is overwhelming, I often think it feels like being stuck in tar, it makes everything feel so difficult and even small tasks feel unmanageable.

      It sounds good that you’ve already got two fitness classes going on though. I reckon if you find one or two volunteer roles and maybe one other hobby you will start to feel better. The musical instruments sound great, are you in a band or anything?

      • #51152
        duvetday
        Participant

        hey, used to be in bands…really sad that i’m not atm 🙁 Yeh I definitely think once I’ve got some volunteering sorted things will feel a bit better. I actually hate only looking after myself. I guess I naturally like looking after others so it feels horrible that it’s just me most of the time. Aw sounds like you still managed quite a few things yesterday tho 🙂 (I also didn’t leave the house all day :/ ). Thanks for offer of help with getting an animal 🙂 And yep depression is the worst….so relentless at times.x

Viewing 2 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content