18th January 2016 at 10:05 am #7933FallenAngelParticipant
Its been (removed by moderator) since I last saw him, it really hurts my heart. I feel like I really was nothing but a punch bag/toy he could use whenever he wanted.
That being said I again know he’s back to where he obviously gets treated like a king because this women his almost old enough to be his mum maybe I didn’t mother him enough so he’s gone back to the women he’s been with for almost a decade and has kids to.
It somehow makes me feel like nothing, I’ve become strong I’ve even started kickboxing!! But inside when I’m alone I feel it the most.
I’ve not heard back from the Marac people or my domestic violence officer. I don’t have a number to call them on and I’ve changed my number.
There’s some good news the social services has decided I don’t their help so I’m fit to look after my children I only hope they are watching his like an hawk.
I was meant to have counselling for my ptsd but again I’ve heard nothing.
I’m not sleeping at all and I still feel like I’m anxious to go anywhere alone.
A few weeks ago I posted about some random person messaging me.
I think it was him the police a couple of days asked for that number.
I just wonder why I’ve heard nothing, I’m still suffering beyond belief.
I just hope they believed me, I had so much horror with that vile man. I still dread the day I bump into him.
Sorry for the rant!! X*x
18th January 2016 at 12:01 pm #7938Confused123Participant
Sending u massive hug, u r worth so much more and he never deserved you, this is what these abusers r like they make u feel worthless, i too loved mine so much , but they just cant accept us fro who we are and they try to destroy us, u like me r still recovering, recovering takes times, the police take forever getting back to me on updates too,so u not alone , its good socical services are not involved no more, focus on yourself and what you want to do and achieve, they have wasted enough of our lives , even if u had mothered him he still would of carried on hurting you cause this is what they r like, i tried almost everything i could think of with my ex to make it work, but all they r doing is breaking our self esteem and making us think we have no value. If he is leaving u alone it is actually good and will help u move on quicker, any contact with them really does mess our head, just hearing him speak with my son sets me off, thta why couldnt he ever appreciate me, again cause his abuser and they take there insecurities out on us, i think sometimes i feel so sorry for him the lifestyle he has, but then hun i think does he feel sorry for pain he has inflicted on me, 100% no, if anything he is annoyed why did’nt i break down,again there thinking is messed up , they mess with our head , hope u and kids r ok, again i think if marc a nd social services keep away its a good thing cause its another headache and a sign u r doing well to protect the kids and yourself . POst as much as u need to on here, us ladies are all here for each another as we have been through that stage or some r still in similar scenario, we need to talk about to it understand how the erffected us, there i sno time limit on when u should be over it, abuse is a traumatic experience, u have to experienced to know how traumatic it is , they will beleive u hun, i too think omg what if im not beleived, they will think im stupid for not walking out sooner, but u know what they understand more then we realize and they do give us the re-assurance we need , this is painful process, just take small baby steps, we cant fast forward this no matter how much we want, everyday i wait for when will he be arrested, is just a long process, we just got be there for each another
18th January 2016 at 8:04 pm #7961FallenAngelParticipant
Thanks confused for the reply.
Today I had my front tooth fixed the one who broke so badly by hitting me the dentist shook his head at the reason it was so badly damaged but he’s fixed it and I’m no longer afraid to smile now.
The police are I’m afraid to say only taking interest now because of the messages. They dropped everything prior to this.
There is still no clue to whether it was him sending the messages.
I tell myself everyday remember your strong remember you are free but its that love that keeps me to him like I say were talking a good few months now.
Me and the children are getting there that’s why I’ve took us to kickboxing classes.
I will never allow myself to feel as weak as I did then.
I’ve been put straight onto the black belt programme too so I can defend myself if he was to ever attack me again.
He is probably mulling his next move I know him well to know he will wait for the dust to settle before striking he is a coward that way.
Yes I’m pleased the social have gone but surely I should have some sort of protection he isn’t innocent despite how much he pulls of the doe eyed Bambi look.
These people are very dangerous!!
I’m incredibly surprised by how far I’ve come already but its just wanting the poison to go from my blood.
18th January 2016 at 11:26 pm #7970SavingmyselfParticipant
Just want to send a big hug to you and like confused said we all understand
19th January 2016 at 7:54 am #7975White RoseParticipant
Hi don’t feel forgotten. I’m sure you’re not and you’ve got us to talk with.
If you ring local police station they should be able to put you through to DV unit. If not 101 should be able to get number for you. Once you get this you can chase MARAC. Don’t leave it too long!
Take care x*x
19th January 2016 at 9:22 am #7981SavingmyselfParticipant
They say abusers only Hoover back if their victim is weak it is not a compliment.
So if he is leaving you alone it means you are strong
Also they can take a long time to try again when their other relationship is in trouble or have been thrown out then they will try again
Just using women it’s not love
They love no one but themselves
Mine went from being in love with me to meeting someone else and switching us around lol who does that . Abusers
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