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    • #109077
      isolated
      Participant

      Hi all.

      First of all thank you for allowing me to join. Reading all the testimonies on here has been a breath of fresh air during this very difficult lockdown. I have been with my partner for few years now and we have a (detail removed by Moderator) little girl who is amazing despite all that is going on in the house. it all started not long after we moved in together. A lot of critics towards everything i was doing in the house. then it changed into insults. He says i cannot communicate and it hurts him so he hurts me back by insulting me. Not long after i gave birth we had an argument and I decided I would sleep in our spare bed, he came in angrily and tried to strangle me. i was left with bruises all over my neck & chest. I should have left there and then but I did not have the strength to having given birth not long before i was very emotional and with all his remarks towards not being a good mum I felt I wouldn’t be able to do it. During lockdown we had an argument which escalated. He gave me a black eye. I had to stay indoors for (detail removed by Moderator) weeks until it disappeared. Not that I could go many places but i had just started getting into a routine of going for a run everyday and since then it broke my motivation. I tried (detail removed by Moderator) to talk to him about separation. He does not want to hear it. he says because both our parents are still together he doesn’t want to become a statistics. I tried to ring the Police when it gets too much but that when he becomes more violent. He is very manipulative and says if I leave him he will never let me take our daughter with me to where I come from (i am (detail removed by Moderator) but not from the UK). He is a pervert n*******c and everything evolves around him. He is jealous of the relationship I ave with our daughter and smile every time our daughter throws a tantrum towards me. I am so scared of taking the step to leave as I know my only solution will be to go to a refuge. Even his mother who thinks he is bipolar but will never admit it told me one day that if I ever was to leave him I would have to leave with our daughter without leaving a name or address and change my phone number. That is why I am so scared as I don’t know how far he will go the day I leave. My daughter is starting to copy him from time to time, repeating what he says to me and that hurts me more than anything as I really don’t want her to grow up thinking this is the way she should be treated. (detail removed by Moderator) he found recordings i had taken of him while he was angry and I had to delete them all. The only proof I have now left is pictures of my black eye i securely saved and locked on my phone. I now I won’t have a choice but to go to the police one day sooner rather than later but as I have no family around here I am so scared this will leave me not being allowed to go home with my own daughter and locked in a country without support. I think his parents would support me but talking to a lawyer few months ago he said never to trust the family in law as you never whom they will support.

    • #109087
      Beautifulday
      Participant

      hi @isolated
      Welcome to the forum, you’ve made your first step by coming here and telling your situation its a very brave thing to do. You are in a very abusive relationship with a dangerous man. Please don’t think if you call the police you will be stuck here on not be able to take your daughter , they are here to help you. If you are ever in danger please call them if you can .

      I would also recommend calling your local branch of women’s aid, someone will give you a call back and will support you give you advice on steps etc make a plan with you. They can give advice on refuge also. You do not need to be stuck in this situation , and just because you are not from this country that makes no difference at all you will get help and support.
      If you have the evidence of the black eye you can show this to the police, they have to help you.
      We are here to chat to lovely whenever you want ok x*x

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