12th December 2015 at 10:35 pm #6100TamraParticipant
I read so many stories on here about trying to get away or hoping your ex’s don’t come any where near you.
Am I totally mad cuz I miss mine so much and just want him to knock on my door and say sorry or I love you or I miss you so much.
He has another woman so it isn’t going to happen but I just can’t seem to mind e forward without wanting him. Am I totally not normal for wanting this? He emotionally and mentally abused me with very little physical abuse. The punishments were horrible from lying. Cheating, leaving me when we we out, moving out of our bedroom or on an Occasion the house, telling me he will find someone and show me what a real relationship is like, telling me to leave the house, argued about anything I had an opinion about, though something, there is so much more but then he would expect me to fix it, he would say ‘ask me how you can make this better’ ‘come and get me or text me so you can make me feel better’ oh god so why on earth would I want this in my life.
I know this is from my past experiences from Trauma bonding etc. and I know I’m grieving but if he came right now I’m but sure what I would do cuz for a short moment I would feel better, like a drug hit
Sorry if I offended anyone with my needing him just wanted to get it out
13th December 2015 at 8:31 am #6112Falling SkysParticipant
No offence taken, it’s trauma bonding. I miss what we could have had, not what I got.
They rip your self confidence and belief in your ability to make decisions.
All he is doing is to wind you up and distress you.
I look at it as a game they play, and they hate it when you don’t play along.
I know you can see him for what he is, so stay strong and in time it will get easier xx
13th December 2015 at 12:23 pm #6122Twisted SisterParticipant
i don’t think you are totally mad to be missing him and wanting him back, its all part of leaving a relationship you had strong feelings in, and more than strong, as Falling Skys says, trauma bonding, the bond is even stronger because of the trauma you suffered.
its common for many women to go back many times before the final break because of the strength of those feelings, and the pain of going through the break from it. Its all entirely normal and hard and i hope you can gain some strength from the support here to realise you are feeling the same as others.
I’m glad for your sake that he does have another distraction to keep him away from you whilst you do your separating and healing.
warmest wishes KS
13th December 2015 at 6:24 pm #6126HopespringsParticipant
It’s absolutely normal what you’re feeling. I wanted to get back with my ex. Every now and again I still have hope that he would finish a programme and change and we could be together, although I also feel I really don’t want that. Break ups are hard, they’re especially hard when there’s been abuse. Know that it gets easier and in some time you won’t be able to imagine a life with this man who’s done so many awful things to you xx
13th December 2015 at 9:07 pm #6140TamraParticipant
Thank you ladies for your support. it has ended many times but this is it and I think this is why I feel so much pain.
I have lots of support and not one person wants me back with him
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