This topic contains 5 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Landy 5 months, 3 weeks ago.

  • Author
  • #87502
     [email protected] 

    Does anyone else worry for the woman your ex has got his claws into next?
    Mine has been in rel with new woman for fair few months now. Glad to say kid free at least.
    I catch myself worrying about her at times, knowing how that rel will change as their rel grows- moving in etc and then it’s down from there! Imagining how it’s going to break her like me.

    Strange feeling when you know what’s going to happen but nothing I can do to prevent it. Not that I’d got involved! He gives me enough grief and continued abuse as it is.
    Guess just little part of me that’s worried for her.

  • #87509

    Yes I do have similar worries. I was told by a DA adviser that it’s not my problem but its difficult not too feel some concern. I suspect that the relationship started before he moved out of out home as he was staying with her three weeks later. Similarly no children but she does have animals. Probably still in the love bombing phase and telling her what a dreadful and controlling wife and mother I am. Like you I still get grief.

  • #87511
     Falling Skys 

    I felt guilty, I didn’t think he would go with another woman so when I got free I didn’t make a statement to the police as I stupidly thought he would be content with controlling our children.

    But I have had to put it back to the back of my head, my only hope for her is that there is more out on social media and news about abuse and she wont stay as long as I did.

  • #87512

    There’s not much you can do. My ex new gf knew all about the rapes and assaults. She still let him move in. I just hope she finds the strength but she’s got several kids and a huge mortgage with him now. He’s well and truly trapped her x

  • #87561

    I used to; until she started to create problems for us – not so much now. Kind of think she’s a grown woman and makes her own choices; there were plenty of red flags. A bit of me feels sorry for her as she said to me once that her last partner lied about everything – and now she’s with someone the same or worse, as he lies about everything, not exaggerating here, it is literally most things, even when he doesnt have to, I think it’s an illness because it’s like something kicks in automatically that tells him to always cover the truth. He superb at playing the victim as well.

    It’s wierd though, because sometimes I have shuddered when my daughter says things that have happened in his house – it’s like hearing about my past life – feels odd that it mirrors this sometimes and yet it’s not odd at all is it – because it’s his history repeating.

    I think another sad fact is that when we meet the one we think we love, we want to be that special one – and he is happy to manipulate that and lead us into feeling this; foolishly I wanted to believe it is different with me – because we love one another and we’re meant to be – which only makes me laugh out loud these days. Sadly, there will always be another fool x

  • #87573

    Yes. That’s why I made a statement to the police in the end.

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.


© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ Jobs

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account