Feeling a bit flat

[Eve1]

Hello ladies

I often come on here to read posts and very occasionally reply. I’ve been working for a couple of months at a fairly simple job which was hard work at first but In used to it now. It’s potentially soon to be permanent and this is a great improvement on Other jobs I’ve had since leaving my abusive husband years ago. It was a great boost to get the job and as it’s part time I can work round my daughter. However, is difficult budgeting from month to month instead of weekly as in temp jobs and I’ve found myself this week with no money to put petrol in the car today, so my daughtethad to walk to school. This sounds minor but she was so anxious she had a panic attack in the morning. This, and the fact that I’m going to have to all my Dad for a loan until I get paid has just meant today, my day off had been kind of wasted. I’ve felt flat and got nothing done. It’s frustrating.

It makes me feel very bad about myself and that I’m bad with money, which my ex husband accused me of often, and so I wasn’t allowed to have any while he put money away each week for his hobby. I think I still struggle with how much I need for bills etc. I need to be more on top of it.

Generally, I feel much better than I have for a long time. I think some of this is down to not being in an abusive relationship of amy kind. I have to see my Dad but it’s manageable. Even though it’s coming up to (detail removed by Moderator) since my Mum died, I feel ok. I have nothing but happy memories of her which is lovely.

I have felt a strong urge to contact the man I was in a horrible relationship with until over (detail removed by Moderator) ago, but have resisted.

Just felt the need to write and try to lift myself up a bit. I think I’ll just write today off and give in to the lethargy.

Love to you, ladies
Eve
x

[PizzaCrumbs]

We all have those days. There’s a big virtual hug for you here because you deserve one 🙂

I’m not the best with money either, sometimes I feel like I rob Peter to pay Paul. But something I did find that helped was making myself up a budget (I do mine on the computer, because I’m good with those, but a pen and paper would work the same). Write out everything you have to pay, and the dates for them on one side, and on the other write out all the money you have coming in and when. Total up both, and whatever you have left you know you can use wherever else you need to. It sounds simple and silly, but when you have a lot of other things going on in your head (and we all do) it makes it so easy to keep track of what you have and when you’re going to need more etc.

He told you that you couldn’t work money, because it was control. Mine did the same. Financial abuse. He earned more, he worked full time, he was Mr Boss-Man, and I was nothing. Didn’t work enough, didn’t earn enough, was useless with money (even though the reality of it was *I* looked after the bills and everything was sorted by me!). Prove him wrong. Nothing takes away their power faster than proving that what they made you believe about yourself was utter rubbish 🙂

Don’t contact him. There are no answers there. They think they’re right, and until they can acknowledge what they do and have done they will never be able to prove any closure for anything. It’s just not worth the heartache in the long run.

It’s just one day, things happen, we hit bumps in the road, but you’ll have a better day tomorrow 🙂

[Eve1]

Thank you.

Yes, I’m sure tomorrow will be better. I do need to sit down and do some simple budgeting as you suggest. My daughte5t came home and had managed her day well, even though it had started so badly.

Thanks again for your helpful reply.

Eve
x

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