Feeling anxious after fleeing my abuser

[Lotus20]

Hi lovely ladies,

My friends say I should be proud of myself for taking this step and I am strong.
I feel I am strong as to finally breaking the cycle of abuse and not letting him sucking me back.
However, it has been scary and emotional at times. I surely miss the home I made for me and my baby, but nothing is better than the peace that we have been experiencing since we left.
I am also worried as I don’t know how the future going to be like for us.
I thought I share with you and would like to hear from your journey, hopefuly finding some reassurance that this is going to end well for us.

[Eggshells]

Hi Lotus20. Well done, sending you big hugs.

What I discovered is that home is where you feel safe and comfortable. It’s where you can make a cup of tea for yourself and not be scared that he is going to approach with either his attempts at lovebombing or his anger because you didn’t make him a drink. It’s where you can curl up with your baby and be yourself. It’s where your baby is happy because there isn’t the constant tension in the atmosphere.

I’ve had lots of different homes since I left him. At the moment I don’t have my own place but I am safe and comfortable living with family. I will have my own place very soon though.

You will be ok because now you can be you. You can start to find yourself again. Your confidence will grow and your life will open up.

Sometimes it will be tough but you’re a survivor. Keep your eye on the prize, a happy, free life and you will not only get through the tough times but you will come out stronger than ever before. xx

[Lotus20]

Hi Eggshells

Thank you for your encouraging words. I totally agree, is only those moments that I miss what I had made as a home. But those moments are not many, almost all the time I am grateful for being in peace with my baby and I am thankful for where we are away from his manipulation and abuse. Away from his conrol. It did affect us severely.
Well done to you too for find your own feet again and your peace, enjoy. I am trying to find my feet again and really hoping that our peace last as long as possible as I know there will be child contact arrangement and I know he is going to use that to get back on me and he won’t care about the welfare of the child as he is so so selfish.

Anyway, I feel I needed to get it out of my system.
I hope you find your own place and make it as lovely as you want and you deserve.

[Diverdi]

Hi Lotus20,

Well done for making the first move. That fear and self questioning is horrible isn’t it? I’m only recently out too, but have heard it does get better, and in the future, when you’ve recovered your confidence and stopped hearing your abusers criticisms in your thoughts it will be great.

[Lotus20]

Hi Diverdi,

Well done to yourself too.
I reallh feel this brain washing and addiction is the hardest to overcome.
We need a rehabilitation where you can only be away from the abuse and slowly start seeing who you are and what had happened.

Hope you’re doing well and all the best.

[Beautifulday]

hi @lotus20
Well done!! You are a brave courageous woman! Youve done it!
It will be hard at first but i know it will get easier as time goes on, you need to let your grieve , let yourself feel all the emotions gradually you will start to feel better as each day goes on. This is what I’ve read. I hope to oneday have your strength thank you for sharing x*x

[Author]

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