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Hope everyone had a good Christmas, thinking of those still trapped in abusive relationships. I had a good day, had my children (timeframe removed by Moderator) opening presents, went out with new toys and then my ex had them (timeframe removed by Moderator). I watched a film and had some nice food, didn’t bother with a Christmas dinner but made baked Camembert with crusty bread. The kids came back (timeframe removed by Moderator) and we played games and ate chocolate it was nice. A thought crossed my mind on Christmas Day, yes I was alone but I thought I don’t have to do anything, I don’t have to lend money or clean up after him, I don’t have to clean the house if I don’t want to (I mean I will but I always felt I had to or he would make comments about what a tramp I was). I don’t have to do anything he says or tell him anything, where I am going, I can just go. It was very freeing I felt like he has no control and no power. I am going ahead with a non molestation order as although things have been ok for (timeframe removed by Moderator) it never lasts. (timeframe removed by Moderator) I said no to something and all hell broke loose and I was actually scared of what he would do. Please don’t get me wrong, leaving is not easy, I have so much anxiety now, I have felt like I can’t go on at times but I’ve done it, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time and now I never have to live like that again. I have no desire to take him back, I just have to keep living now in the fear of what he will do next but that was my life anyway, at least I don’t have to put up with living in the same house anymore.
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