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I am feeling brave tonight after a couple of nights of being woken by someone messing around in my garden and trying to enter my property I have come up with a plan. I have set up a baby monitor downstairs by back door, so that I can catch hom once and for all. I just hope this works, my aim is to take back the control.
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SO brave! Well done you! Please let us know what happens, take care x
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Hi Benson, I wanted to offer some support. As the other’s have already said, it is so important to keep yourself as safe as possible, you shouldn’t have to do that in order to capture him trying to gain access.
If you haven’t done so already, you could contact your local domestic abuse service and ask them to help you with safety and home security. You could also ask the police about securing your property.
Do let us know how you are doing.
Best wishes
Lisa
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Hi all thank you for your support- last night was quiet! I spoke to my child’s school and have asked them to be extra vigilant as things are escalating. My house is as secure as it can be, I have got all the security measures in place that I can. I must admit I am feeling quite drained by it all and trying desperately to put on a brave face for my child and my job.
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No no you’re never stupid, you’re very smart in fact, looking out for your safety the best way you can, you never had training in this so how the heck would you know what to do exactly.
It’s not too late to follow above advices, it never is honey, contact WA and the police whenever you feel able to, depending on the urgency first the police or for longer term action plan and if no immediate danger contact WA. Contact both in any case. You’re doing great, you’re taking steps to keep yourself safe and soon you’ll feel more empowered because of it. -
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There seems to be no real pattern, but mainly weekends. It doesn’t matter when it is as still seems to frighten me- I have had death threats, these are quite graphic. I spend my days out with my child permanently looking over my shoulder and the evenings/ nights waiting for something to happen. I am so grateful for the support on here, it keeps me strong and stops me from going insane!
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Ah Benson he really is so cruel- well they all are. They get their highs from seeing and thinking about others being fearful of them.
One of the posters on here left her abuser recently and her family are acting as a buffer against him.Some male uncles if I remember well. I used to wish I had a few strong male friends but I didn’t. I don’t think you have family near. Even if you were sharing your accommodation with other empathic women. There’s safety in numbers. Another trustworthy person with you would make all the difference. If you ever have to move again maybe rent a place next to the Police Station. We have to find a way to deal with him without engaging with him. The graphic death threats are him to a tee. There’s a bit about that in the book the “gift of fear”.
Do you think he’ll stop from Monday to Friday next week. He’ll have to go to earn money and work on getting ‘fuel ‘ and ‘reactions ‘ from his other intimate partners or out energy into securing one and of course he’ll be spending time manipulating his family members etc. You won’t be the only one he’s getting ‘thought fuel’ from ; he needs other sources as well.
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Thank you Lover of no contact, I have decided to have a family member come and stay with me, they arrive tomorrow. They are having to travel quite a distance but I believe in safety in numbers. I was threatened again last night and no this week could be a potential trigger. My thoughts are at least I will get some rest knowing someone else is in the house being a listening ear! Meanwhile I spoke to someone today about the threats and the seriousness of some of them, they advise I alert the police. Thanks again for your help and support.
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That’s a fantastic plan Benson. Well done to ask. I know your family member has to travel a long distance but you and your little one definitely need their support. And you would certainly do the same if the shoe was in the other foot. Safety is in numbers. Happy mum =happy little child. So good for your little one and she’ll be delighted to have the attention of a family member. Enjoy this week of the extra support; hope you get to sleep soundly…for a change.
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It’s been quite a weekend – now police are involved, taking it very seriously. I have had several visits and calls from police and now it’s going to marac, which I do not want! I am scared as things keep escalating it I am doing my best to keep things normal for my child. I am glad the police are now taking things seriously before something serious happens.
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