Feeling c**p about myself because of him

[Freedom111]

Hi everyone, I have left my now ex but it’s still very stressful. He’s still calling and messaging me because he’s scared I’m going to the police. The police are coming soon after waiting (detail removed by moderator) since I made a report they are finally coming. I’ve been an anxious mess and almost told them not to come! I’m worrying about what to say, I don’t want him to go to prison and ruin his life which is what he thinks is going to happen, I just want him to leave me alone. So I’m a bit scared of telling them everything.

Anyway my reason for posting is that I’m feeling really rubbish about myself. We were arguing a lot before we broke up and he was really nasty with the things he was saying to me. He knows I’m self conscious about my weight, I’m a size (detail removed by moderator) and curvy. He was calling me such horrible names and talking about the way I look saying no one would want to be seen walking down the street with me. He’s just horrible and then later on said he didn’t mean any of it. It’s been like that on and off for a long time, he would get annoyed about something or we’d argue and he would start being nasty about my weight each time getting worse but always saying he didn’t mean it afterwards.
Now I just feel s**t about myself I dont like the thought of being naked in front of someone else.

The emotional and mental abuse is sometimes so much worse than the physical.

[KIP.]

For me the emotional abuse was much worse and much longer lasting. Abusers are liars and they say nasty things to destroy our self esteem and our confidence. They know our weaknesses and they concentrate on them. Please tell the police everything starting at the beginning. You need to show a pattern of behaviour and don’t leave anything out. Feeling sorry for him is what he wants. Abusers keep us in a fog of abuse. Fear Obligation and Guilt. It’s how they control us. He’s not your responsibility and he chooses to abuse you. You owe him nothing. Abuse thrives on silence so it’s time to speak out. Just follow the officers lead and answer what they ask x it’s very very rare they go to prison sadly the courts are often very lenient. And even if he did it’s not your fault it’s his x

[Anonymous]

Hi,

Just wanted to say well done for leaving. That’s amazingly strong!

And also amazing that you realise – as you say in the title – that you feel c**p because of him. It took me ages to say that for myself. It seems quite typical: they get angry then go for something that they know will injure us and also keep us down.

Good luck with the police x

[Author]

Posts