Viewing 1 reply thread
  • Author
    • #111060

      So today I told the police about everything. The entire history of my abuse with my ex. Why?… well he’s been messaging me threatening me and blackmailing me with compromising photos that if I don’t ‘comply’ with what he wants, he will send them to my friends and family. What does he want? Well he wants contact with his son (which I’m in the process of sorting with my solicitor), his name off the tenancy (which I did when he left anyway), his deposit from the house (like I have that kind of money particularly as he’s not paying maintenance) and his stuff (which he sent me a list of furniture including (detail removed by Moderator)!… yes he paid for them but seriously? You want to take away your sons comfort?)

      He still hasn’t actually asked how his son is on the months that he has been gone completely.

      So here’s me, opening up to the extent of the abuse I faced at the hands of this man, the first time I’ve told anyone in an official capacity. What did I want to achieve? I was hoping to get him to stay away and at least let the solicitors do their job. What happened? Basically I got told that there wasn’t much they could do about the abuse as there was no proof. My word against his. I asked about the incidences in which other people witnessed his ‘strange behaviour’ and they just said that he could just say I agreed to this or that.

      What about the photos? Well he definitely has them as he has sent a copy to me. I might add that these photos weren’t anything to do with him. They were taken by someone I was involved with after we broke up. They were private and not the sort of picture you parents want seeing of you. It was actually the reason my ex decided to give for abandoning his son. They were private and none of his business and definitely a hard lesson I have learned. The police are seeking advice on what to do as he hasn’t actually sent them to anyone… yet.

      One of the questions I was asked was if I had been in an abusive relationship before. It’s stuck with me. The answer is yes. But why ask it. What relevance does it have with the here and now. Did that somehow change how they saw me?

      I feel invalid.

    • #111082

      So sorry to hear you’re feeling invalid. You are not!

      The police don’t seem to have been very helpful. At the least you’d have thought that he could be charge for threatening behaviour or something like that.

      Thinking of you

      • #111113

        He’s now been arrested. He turned up at my dads but it’s a bit confusing because it’s now a cross force investigation as I live in one area and my dad lives many miles away. His police force seem more keen on the abusive relationship but as far as I know he has at least been arrested for the malicious messages. Hopefully he will be told to stay away x

Viewing 1 reply thread
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ Jobs


Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account