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    • #124103
      Rosemary
      Participant

      Could any ladys please tell me what would my parent would get out or abuseing me ? Because I dont understand what would make him even happy to even do this to me . He can be nice for some days or a week or so next minet I am back to square one
      Where my partner thinks it’s okay to abuseing me it makes me feel uncomfortable I told him to stop
      He would carry on . I now I have talk about this before but its really upsetting me he has no respect for my body and he thinks it’s just a joke he laught and he thinks I should laught to . I feel so weak because I feel depressed before he had started to change his ways to abuse me .why is this so funny to him ? I feel I am just a joke which is so horrible. I dont think I would ever understand his behaviour it’s not right at all when I tell him to stop his not happy sounds like his geting wind up by my reaction. I cant explain how this really makes me feel but he makes me feel that I am not a woman. From one mint to the next my parent can change from being nice to being abusive and abuseing me . I noticed a pattern of his behaviour .

      What also gets me down that he always controls the money he thinks he is the manger that he has to have the money and deal with it I am not allowed
      To deal with the money . I now this is all down to
      Control its just horrible how my parnter can treat me like this . I’ve been feeling ever so down and depressed just feeling empty inside it’s hard to explain how I feel .

    • #124145
      Darcy
      Participant

      Hi beautiful Angel… Rosemary,
      I am saddened to read you are feeling down and that your partner is treating you this way.
      Please understand that the way he is treating you says more about him than it does about you. By controlling you and putting you down it makes him feel stronger, he is really a lost insecure man.
      However you will not change him, all you can work on doing is changing yourself.
      By building up your self love, self worth and self respect this will help to strengthen your boundaries. Once you have boundaries in place you will not allow this behaviour in your partner and want to make changes.
      It’s not easy to do especially when you are living with an abuser, but any little thing you can do to honour your self worth will start to have a knock on effect.
      You need to reclaim your power that your partner has taken from you.
      Sending you love and support
      Darcy xx

    • #124146
      Rosemary
      Participant

      Hello Darcy

      You say lovely things to me by calling me beautiful makes me smile thank you because no one has
      Ever said I was beautiful not that they have to but it is just nice to here that thank you so much
      For always calling me beautiful bless your heart.

      It’s so true what your saying my partner will never change and I need to be a bit more stronger
      To not allow him to abuse me . Even though I tell him it still dont work telling him in a serious way would make him get abusive towards me . I say it in a way that he would not get abusive but he still dont listen I need to be stronger I get scared because I now he will get abusive if I was to talk a bit stronger if that makes sense. I feel like he rules me controls my own body. Am I makeing sence? He should respect my body and not think he can just do what he wants how can a man just think it’s okay to joke around by abuseing me sometimes it makes me feel sick it’s just not normal behaviour. How can I show him that I own my self that he dont own me . I’ve been thought alot over the years it has made me strong but I do feel weak at times feeling anxious what my parnter would say and do If I stick up for me self he gets in a mood when I do . My partner is insecure you are right his told me that his he insecure for years I really dont understand why he would feel like that ? When I’ve been with him for years . I think he just wants me all for his self he dont like me haveing friends either . I am very tired and exhausted of stress I am going thought other stress in my life and everything gets on top of me when things happen all at once .

      Thank you for being here for me sending you hugs my friend. Xx

    • #124147
      Darcy
      Participant

      I always start my posts with ”beautiful” to you ladies as I know from being in a similar situation myself that you forget that you are beautiful, inside and out … so I just want to remind you all.
      I know it is hard to get strong when you are constantly being knocked down by an abusive man. However gaining this inner strength will get you strong enough to leave. I always like to use the analogy of nature. Imagine yourself now as a small newly seeded plant, as soon as the wind blows you are up rooted and blown off course. Then imagine yourself as an old oak tree, your roots are deep and firmly rooted into the ground, so when the wind blows you may sway a little but you are not up rooted.
      This is how you need to get yourself to be, like an old oak tree! So when your partner starts you know your true self, your true worth and can stand strong.
      It’s not about meeting aggression with aggression, there is no reasoning with theses men … no talking to crazy! But it’s about truly knowing who you are. So when he says negative things about you, you don’t doubt yourself and think is he right, you know deep down to your roots that he is wrong… you don’t have to tell him that, just you knowing inside is enough to strengthen you.
      My ex made me have a tattoo, it was quite near to the time I left him, however I wasn’t quite strong enough to leave or say no to the tattoo but all the time I was having it I was thinking in my head, it’s doesn’t matter if he tattooed my forehead I know that I don’t love you and that I deserve a better life, shortly after that I left him, and have since had the tattoo removed!
      Once you get strong from the inside, your life will begin to change in ways your couldn’t of imagined.
      I always recommend reading or listening to Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life … I wish I’d had access to this book when I was with my ex
      Sending you love and support
      Darcy xx

    • #124168
      Rosemary
      Participant

      Thank you Darcy it is a lovely thing you do to
      Remind us ladys how beautiful we are . That is the
      Thing I dont feel beautiful inside it’s a horrible feeling when I feel worthless but I now it’s all the truma I’ve been thought and the years of abuse I have been thought it makes you feel like I am not worth anything I should not feel this way but my partner makes me feel like this over the years.
      I just want to feel that I am me again . I will get stronger one day I have to believe in my self .

      Thank you for telling me about Louise Hay I will listen to her . Sending you all my love x*x

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