Feeling guilty.

[Redstar]

I told my parents about the abuse I received from my ex partner. I feel so guilty. I feel I have done my ex partner wrong. I feel so sad. Is it normal, to feel this way?..

[Eggshells]

HivRedstar

There is no normal; no right or wrong way to feel. You just feel what you feel.

I know that I certainly felt guilty when I started to tell people. It was like I’d broken some unspoken pact I’d had with him to keep quiet.

Ofcourse, there was no pact. Just a compulsion not to shame him by exposing his behaviour. I’m not quite sure how or why I was complicit in that, I just know that I felt guilty when I chose not to protect his image anymore.

Hopefully, the more you tell people, the easier it will become. xx

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Redstar

Its a shame that you feel any kind of guilt for the damage he’s done. He has no right to expect anyone to keep his crimes secret, but, yes, I think its quite common to feel that guilt, despite having done nothing wrong.

I hope you can shake off those feelings as actually ones that belong to him. His guilt and shame, his abuses and someone was going to find out at some point. You can only keep these secrets of his for so long.

I hope you can start to feel free, not live under his threats and guilt-trips.

warmest wishes

ts

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