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Hi,
I’ve managed to set a meeting with the police from advice from women’s aid, to see what support they can offer and because my partner is violent. However I’m starting to feel guilty about leaving him, I hate feeling like this. When it’s good it’s really good between us but when it’s bad it’s really bad. I keep thinking about all the bad things he’s done to me but at the back of my mind I’m thinking can I leave him, I don’t want him to be upset. I actually feel sorry for him. I hate feeling like this because it’s took me a lot of courage to finally admit he’s been abusing me and don’t want to seem weak by saying I’ll miss him. Any advice would be appreciated xx
Hello and welcome. Abusers use guilt to keep us from speaking out and leaving them. Fear, Obligation and Guilt. FOG. It’s not weak to say you will miss him. But you won’t miss the real him. You will miss the fake him. The real him is a nasty violent self serving individual. Have you read about the cycle of abuse? If it was bad all the time then none of us would stay. So our abusers ‘love bomb’ us. And when they make us feel special we forget about the bad times hoping they have changed. However abuse always gets worse. It’s ok to admit you will miss him but he is not your responsibility. It’s beyond devastating to be abused by someone you love and you think loves you in return. Look after yourself because he won’t x
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