This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Iwantthistostop 3 weeks, 4 days ago.

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  • #99142
     Iwantthistostop 
    Participant

    Almost (detail removed by moderator) ago I lost my relocation case in the family courts, then had another (detail removed by moderator) in court dealing with finances – we weren’t married so I was just fighting to keep my own home as a new property had to be bought jointly in (detail removed by moderator) for me and the children. My ex decided that the judge thought I was a liar and that’s why she didn’t agree for the kids to move to where my home is in (detail removed by moderator). He now bombards me with emails and text messages, demanding I answer questions he claims I have refused to respond on, calling me dishonest and saying I’m in breach of the orders that have been agreed at court. I have been on my knees for over (detail removed by moderator) now, trying to extract myself from what I now see was an abusive relationship. I feel ridiculous saying that I can’t cope with emails and texts, but that’s my reality and he won’t let up. It’s so petty, but he hasn’t addressed me by my name for (detail removed by moderator) now – I think this was a tactic his hideous lawyer suggested.
    I have blocked him from my main phone and my primary email account to try to minimise the impact his rants have on me, but I still get sucked in. Making any arrangements over children’s holidays or anything is an unbearable battle that keeps taking me back to the trauma of the last (detail removed by moderator) I lived with him whilst we were going through the courts.
    What can I do to stop this? It seems too trivial to go to the police with, but I want to die when he gets going as I feel I have lost everything, my right to be my children’s mother, my freedom of thought, my dignity, my sanity – every time another bombardment of aggressive emails or texts starts, I want to die. I miss my children so much when they are not home with me and I know they miss me too, but the courts award 50/50 now regardless how young they are it seems.
    I want to know what I can do to stop the “noise” he makes all the time. I don’t feel I have the strength to go on like this till the youngest is out of school – it’s another (detail removed by moderator)!

  • #99162
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    Can so relate; same – the courts have only made things more difficult and our sitaution has dragged on for a similar amount of time. I’m almost away completely now though but gosh it’s been tough trying to get into this position and I feel it’s almost killed me, as dramatic as that sounds, because I no longer have the health, wealth or ability to work and most of my time is spent caring for my child now. I’ve also had to make some big life changing decisions that impact on life everyday and where we live – which will effect us for years now so I’m praying it all works out as I hope and we can at last move into recovery free of him.

    Google the Our Family Wizard app. would help you to take back the control here and go no contact with him – using the app as a third party. There’s an on-line diary, so you could both use that, meaning there’s no need for any more emails and texts again – you each manage your time with children. There’s some other useful features also; it’s been designed for use when there is a high conflict parent x

  • #99237
     Iwantthistostop 
    Participant

    Thank you for answering. I really hope you get through your process and manage to restart your life. I will have a loom at the app you suggest. So far I have been reluctant to use an app because I have been spied on by him, had my phone tracked and movements monitored. He kept a diary of my movements for (detail removed by moderator) whilst we were still sharing a bed so I am really wary of anything that may give him access to my devices or data. He still seems to know things about me that I don’t understand how he gets the info. I suspect I’m being over-sensitive, but it’s hard to trust anything linked with him.

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