Feeling hopeless

[Karisqq]

I tried to hold on hope despite having to deal with traumas and mental issues; but when I know that I have got bipolar, I suddenly feel so hopeless, I find myself very broken and dysfunctional. Maybe after all the abuses at home and school have already transformed me into a deformed person, with a broken heart and dysfunctional brain. I hate the mood swing caused by bipolar, and I feel like it reminds me how broken and abnormal I’m. No one loves me or able to accept me, such a weird person, anyway.

I’m sorry for such a negative post, but I reply feel so hopeless since things don’t improve even I tried my best to fight, should I give up?

[Lisa]

Hi Karisqq,

I’m so sorry that you were feeling this low last night, I hope that things have been better today. It sounds like you’re dealing with such a lot. I know that many women here will relate to feeling exhausted with trying so hard to move forward and with feeling alienated by their experiences. In past posts, you’ve spoken about support that has been helpful for you to reach out to, both professional and from friends. It can be hard to remember that there are real things that do help when you’re feeling hopeless and unloved, might it be worth trying to connect to that support now? You’ve also shared about goals for the future of using your experiences to make things better, not just for yourself, but for others, and that seems to be something that really motivates you. It’s okay to take a break and have a rest when you need, that doesn’t mean that you’re giving up. I don’t know if you’re aware of Bipolar UK but you might find the resources on their website useful and they have a Peer Support Line where you can speak with someone who also has experience of living with bipolar for support and advice, if you feel that would help.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[swanlake]

I’m sorry that you’re experiencing all these things and you’re unwell too.

I’m on more than one medication for anxiety, currently off sick from work again. But I remind myself that we have been through such awful experiences, it’s difficult on top of being ill as well. I also feel broken.

I’ve recently been having more counselling and doing various activities with local mental health groups. I volunteer with a couple of groups and have found acceptance there rather than with my family and of course my abuser who seemed to enjoy depriving me of hope and positivity.

[Author]

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