Feeling hopeless today

[Shazza]

I’m feeling like my options going forward are so limited at the moment. It feels like he still has all the power and all the control.
I can’t even tell anymore if it is me who is the bad guy here. I’m thinking maybe I am the controlling one and the one with the problem.
He is still so in my head. He doesn’t want to sell our joint home or buy me out or let me live there with my daughter. He just tells me it isn’t fair and that it is my fault and that he basically just wants me removed from the mortgage so he can keep it. He said I told him he could have it when i left but I dont remember saying that. Maybe I did? I did mention him possibly keeping it in terms of buying me out but maybe I wasn’t clear enough and now maybe his anger at me is justified.
I don’t allow him to have our daughter overnight due to his drinking. (Detail removed by Moderator).
I feel like I am losing my mind. I know I have legitimate reasons for saying no to overnight stays. But he is making it seem like i am being controlling and horrible and unfair and selfish by denying him this. I’m worried he is right and that i am the real problem here.
He currently brings our daughter home early every single day he sees her as she wants to come home anyway. Which he also blames me for.
I am so confused. I am not sure how to respond to him other than to reiterate that there are no overnight stays until he has sought help.
It feels like I’m the really nasty one right now 😢 I feel like I’m being unreasonable in some way.
I also feel like I am being unreasonable expecting something from the house. It feels like there are no options as I still feel like I have to do what he says

[Shazza]

Thank you Auriel. I do plan to get some more advice. I just find it really difficult as although I know I have rights it feels like I still can’t do anything as my brain just says well he won’t like it therefore I can’t do it. It’s so confusing and Im really struggling with it as it’s makes me feel like options are limited x

[Shazza]

Yes you are right, I definitely still feel as if I am being controlled by him. It almost feels like I have gone away for a little while but that we are still together and that it’s just a matter of time before I’m back there. I don’t want that to happen, but it feels like it sometimes x

[Author]

Posts