Me again! Sorry so much to process. So husband has tried to talking to me again, wanting to know why I’m so hostile he can’t stand it and I have to be honest I have been feeling very resentful on and off, so irritated and find his presence unbearable at times and avoid him as much as possible.
And he will say he’s never ‘off’ with me like I am with him. It was at first a protective thing I think after a big row or him having been awful to our boy to keep him at arms length. The thing I’m struggling with is that I agree it’s not a very grown up way to behave and if he sulks (hasn’t done for a fair while now) it does feel awful and it must be very unpleasant for our children. Any wise words or perspective on this? I suspect he’s getting at I’m being abusive to him by behaving this way.
Thanks wonderful ones x
He’s putting the spotlight onto you and your behaviour. Taking the spotlight off his. He is the cause of this situation. It’s a typical abuser tactic to distract from his own behaviour. Being awful to your child sounds like child abuse and that’s going to do long term damage to him. I’d be feeling hostile to someone who was abusing me and my child. Talk to women’s aid. Abusers expect us to simply move on after their abusive outbursts. They hate it when we hold them accountable but there are consequences to actions.
Living this right now, I just do not want to talk to him. I know I should and I know he’ll blame me the longer it goes on, not to mention feeling childish in some ways but my gosh, acknowledge what you’ve done man. He just walks in and expects everything to be normal and done for him. I’m not willing to just ignore it this time. That doesn’t help your situation but you’re not alone!