Feeling hurt in my heart

[Rosemary]

When my partner has his days where his not being
Abusive I still feel I am on egg shells still . I just feel the same when he is abusive. I just dont feel right in my self . I don’t feel I want to be loved I feel hurt in my heart and I never can forget all
Thease years that my partner gets abusive control aggressive abuseing me . When his being nice I see that as a negative as well .one mint he can get abusive next mint he be nice its confusing and up setting me . Most of my life with him his been really geting me down there more negative he has shown in my life than positive . I dont feel I can open my heart and love him . I am really am hurting inside and I cant change how I feel towards him. X*x

[Empoweredhealing]

Hi there, it sounds like you don’t have emotional safety in your relationship so it’s natural for you to shut yourself off from your partner. In fact, that’s probably a survival mechanism.

It’s brave to admit you are hurting. Abuse hurts. Try to turn that love that you would give him inward to bolster up your own self love.

[Rosemary]

Hello Empoweredhealing

Thank you for explaining to me it really makes
Sence to me what your saying . Its taken me so long to talk out that I am hurting it’s a horrible feeling because i dont feel i am worth to be loved
Because how my partner treated me of the years his made me feel dead inside. Even on his good days his going around every day abusing me he thinks it’s okay to joke about with my body parts I dont
Understand what he gets out of this apart from he thinks he has control over my body . He laughts when his doing this it gets me down and he makes me feel uncomfortable when his doing this. He makes me feel that I hate being a women the number place is my boobs he thinks it’s okay to abuse me he thinks my boobs are just a jokeing tool its horrible. He expects me to laught every time his abuseing me because I am his partner it dont mean
He has authority over my body . I really dont understand what is the joke or even he gets out
Of doing this . I am really tired of him doing this it’s like he has to joke about with my boobs all the time I think he has a problem with him self because it’s not normal for any man just to keep on abuseing my boobs laughing about it .
Even though he nows I dont like it he see me
Stress out he still does it he makes me feel physically and mentally worn out . I’ve been hurting for a very long time I just cant explain to him my feelings because he dont take them
In to consideration or even understand what he is doing to me abuseing me all the time his made me feel dead inside it’s so horrible feeling in the world the way his made me feel .

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