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    • #44713
      Lightning-Jet
      Participant

      Been having a rough time of it recently. The excessive drinking by him has increased even further. He falls out with so many people & I feel so embarrassed by him.

      I finally have support in place, but feel guilty for doing it as I’ve gone behind his back. Then I start thinking, do I over-react to how he is with me?

      Why do we feel like this when we know we need to get out and how they treat us is completely wrong?! Is it just me who feels like this? Or is it completely normal?

      L-J

    • #44716
      KIP.
      Participant

      Guilt is a powerful abusers tool. Fear Obligation and Guilt. If anyone else treated you this way you would not tolerate it. It’s all the dysfunction of abuse. You are not responsible for him or his actions. He is. He can’t and won’t take care of you so you need to take care of yourself. Listen to the professionals, take all the help you can get x

      • #44804
        Lightning-Jet
        Participant

        Hi KIP,

        You are exactly right. They love to make us feel guilty don’t they.
        I absolutely would not allow anyone else to treat me that way. I am standing up to him more and more and deflecting things back on him.

        I do need to take care of myself and I know I need to get out sooner rather than later. It’s just getting the confidence to tell him once and for all to go.

        Thank you, I will do! x

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