Feeling like I’m never getting through this, ever.

[teabag]

Hi everyone

I’ve been feeling seriously low to the point that I feel I’m better off dead.
For almost 7 months now the fog has been lifting and I’m so consciously aware of all that’s occurred. I am grateful every night when I get into bed that I made it through another day.

My days are looking bleaker and I can’t understand why. I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing. I’m in therapy, reading books, meditating.,After months of being unable to work because I could not function I am now in a new job P/T.

I feel like I can’t breath anymore and I’m sinking deeper when I should be feeling better. I have no supportive network except this forumn.

When will this stop.

[diymum@1]

im sorry your feeling so isolated, i think we can feel very alone in this situation due to lack of understanding and some people just dont want to face the harder side of life. But this is real for us 🙂 i try to tell myself this time will pass- things will improve. I also feel that if we truly 100% believe something it will happen. This has worked for me in the past. when negative thoughts come into your head try to divert them into a happy memory, or go to a safe place in your head. I know its hard to deal with these feelings but i find trying to take some control back really helps. Ive been excercising recently and i find that really helps. Cut yourself some slack youve been through alot and its only natural you are going to feel wounded. i still feel this way too at times but there are better days to come i promise xx take care much luv diy mum

[ashestobeauty]

Oh my dear Teabag, I know exactly how you feel because it’s normal. I am likening it to PTSD and that, for me, makes it easier to deal with. Time is a great healer, 2 months after the big showdown, the panic attacks are lessening, the tears not so frequent and I do I even have a laugh now and then. Don’t expect everything to be okay straight away, you have feelings and the emotions need time to heal just like a bodily injury. You cannot rush healing.
You will get wobbly moments, dark thoughts of ending it all. I know what you’re going through.
I rang the Samaritans (ring free on 116 123) for 40 minutes this afternoon as my support worker is away, they were really good. Reach out please, I feel much better for talking to them.
Don’t be afraid to cry for help. You’re not alone.
Lots of love to you. Xx

[Lisa]

Dear Teabag,

I just wanted to add some support. I’m sorry to read how you’re feeling. It’s hard that you know you’re being so proactive with regards to your mental health, but are not yet feeling the results. Please try to be kind to yourself and give yourself time. It can often be the case that therapy initially makes everything come to the surface, so life can feel harder before it gets better. Keep going, and perhaps talk to your therapist for any coping strategies for how you’re feeling right now.

Keep posting, I hope it helps to be here.

Kind Regards,

Lisa

[sunnysideup]

Hi Teabag,
Please dont feel like your alone and look how far youve come! Its a horrible feeling, feeling so low and I totally understand how you feel, but your doing amazingly well, just rememeber little steps and dont expect to much of yourself. If Im having a bad day I have to take each hour as it comes.
Life does feel so unfair sometimes and just hardwork and lonely but it can get better for you.

xx

[teabag]

Thank you for seeing me and hearing me x

[HopeLifeJoy]

Hi Teabag, have you tried taking meds? Anti depressants. I am quite pro meds when nothing else works. It helped me and can only recommend. You need a boost. Take a-ny-thing that gets you out of that dark hole.
We care about you, so pls keep on living, you are unique and special, just the fact you keep getting up every single morning is such huge step and effort and you can be proud of yourself doing that, it is not easy, I am proud of you and think you do matter.
The spring is starting, first few flowers on the trees are growing. Pls look at them. They are life. It will get better.
Sending you a big hug. 🌸🕊

[Iwantmeback]

Hi Teabag, how are you doing today? I was ruminating (as so many of us probably do) and was having a conversation in my head with a local minister at opening up a women’s only group. It was going to be about educating the women to domestic abuse, about how it doesn’t just affect the two people directly but children, parents, grandparents etc etc. Then I started over thinking and worried that it would be easy for abusers of men to get into this group, so what started out as a good idea, I kyboshed it before it hit the road. But could you maybe get the help of your local councellor or MP to help set up your own help group with advice from a local WA group too, they could recommend the women who came and then you wouldn’t be worrying that any female abusers were getting inside information so to speak. The ideas are there, we just need things ironed out. This is something I’d like to do in the future when I leave my oh, so will approach my local councillor, msp/mp for help then. Or could you ask your local WA if they do a buddy system. I know they do it in refuge and at AA. If not it’s always an idea for the future. My thoughts go a bit off the cuff later in the evening, guess I’m just thinking a bit outloud tonight.
Again, I hope you’re doing okay teabag, the down days are the worst, but one day, we wake up and for a while its not so bad again💕💕
IWMB 💕💕

[LozzyX]

Sorry to hear you are on so much pain right now Teabag. Try if you can to think of it like this..

… Your mind only lets you feel a certain amount of pain that you can cope with at any time. When we go through trauma the mind is clever , it can numb us so that we are in survival mode .. to get away from danger…. Then once the danger has passed , the mind allows us to process the trauma

So now you are starting to feel the emotions from what happened and as painful as it is, please try and ride it out, with support as much as you can, but do not try and numb it with harmful stuff like alcohol or avoidance etc , try now to face it … You probably don’t feel like it right now but you are so strong , your mind feels you are ready to get through this .. and as a counsellor recently advised me , remember this too shall pass

Hope you are safe and well XX

[teabag]

Thanks everyone. I’m really trying to look after myself. I hardly drink and when I’m feeling really low I tend to eat cake! I think yourcright in that getting away I was in survival mode and numb to everything. Now that I’m away my mind is finally allowing me to come to terms with things.
I’m so tired today that I don’t feel much, other than tired! But boy those low days frighten me. I’ve never had such dark thoughts and the anxiety quietly sits there observing me. I’ve so much gratitude for you all taking the time out to respond. Because when you feel all alone and people message you willing you for another day, week, month it just gives me that little push to hang in there.
Much love and gratitude x
Thank you

[diymum@1]

You’ll have up and down days ☺cherish the good ones and be ready for the bad. Pamper yourself and try to use affirmations like I am a good person, I am going to be fine, I am worthy of being treated with respect, I will be happy again ☺they say five positive affirmations a day combats one negative comment xx much love diymum xx I’ve only written four! But felt i was going on a bit! Lol

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