Feeling lost

[Millionpieces]

Today i told my best friend all the abused from my ex, which I never able to tell anyone,not even my mum (I can’t imagine how will it break her heart) and she told me may be I enjoy it that’s why I stayed until nearly decade. I told I didn’t enjoy it but I can’t really give her answer why I did stayed. Now I feel so low with all this flash back.. I feel so lost, alone and sad!!

[Peaceful Pig]

I’m sorry that you had to hear invalidating nonsense from someone proporting to be your best friend. No wonder you feel so down. I learned the hard way who my friends were and to be careful who you talk to about abuse. Many people don’t understand and will bring you down. In time, as your confidence and self-esteem return, you will attract the kind of friends you deserve xx

[Peaceful Pig]

I promise it’s not you. Two steps forward one step back. We’ll get there xx

[Falling Skys]

Hi mp

People that haven’t been abused find it hard to understand the dynamics of our situation.

I was with mine decades and though I knew it wasn’t right I did realise it was abuse.

Please don’t let it knock you back. I found sharing on this site was a god send as we understand the way they are. And we understand the strength needed to become free.

FS xx

[Healthyarchive]

Dear MP, try not to feel sad. I have found most people outside of abuse circles just do not understand. My family knows nothing about me, they don’t know i use this forum or anything that I am going through. I have made it like that as they just would not understand. I have told people a few things at work and they look at me blankly or tell me to forget him or ‘oh thats a shame’.. They just don’t get it. I reported some stalking worries to the police & they basically laughed at me like I was a crazy woman. I think that you are best to share your thoughts and feelings on here or during the freedom programme which is an open environment to talk about these things with other women going through the same. XXXXX

[older lady]

How horrible for someone you trust to say this to you. Your friend is naive. x

[Millionpieces]

Thank you ladies,
She is one of my best friend for four years and I don’t talk a lot about my abuse bcoz I know she doesn’t understand, sometimes she said something about it and it’s hurt me more so I avoid talk about it to her. And we have mutual friend facing abuse and she wanted to help her and I said you shouldn’t bcoz she need someone understands her, we talk about my problem I said you wouldn’t understand if I tell you and That when it’s started, I kept go on as I wanted her to understand but she get meaner and meaner. I don’t have many friends, I guess I have trust issue but I needed friend. I am hundreds thousand miles away from home, I am all alone here, only few of my community have open minded and not judging others.

I treat my self yesterday bought lots of new flower plants and box of chocolate shared it with my house mate, had night in, had dinner together and watch tv with them. I felt much better today.
Finally I can pick my self up. 😄😄

[Healthyarchive]

They don’t get it MP, they just don’t get it. All the complexities of abuse, the non abused do not understand. They think we are being over dramatic or crazy. Abuse, especially if there is no hitting has so many facets to it. Something so simple like a man saying to a woman ‘you look nice’ is enough to send sheer horror to a woman if that man is an emotional abuser to that woman & is stalking her & is facing her. To a person who doesn’t know about abuse to hear that man say ‘you look nice’, she would think, ‘oh, that is a nice thing to say’.

[Confused123]

Hi HUn

what a selfish response from your friend,sadly people who have not experiecne abuse do not get it, how our mind freezes, they dont get how they get in our head, people say to me why didnt u call the police, why did u take the beatingss, i dont think they get how much feaar they build in us, i used to say to them but id be dead by the time police came if i made that call, how do u make the call when all phones are smashed up, just speak to positive support. i found i could only talk on here what i experienced, my family just didnt get it . dont feel low, cause none of this was your fault, he chose to abuse u, u were jusat trapped

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