Feeling more positive

[Distraught]

Over the last few days I think Iv come to terms with us splitting. I’m feeling a lot more positive and wanting to have fun. As he is still living with me I’m finding that I’m being civil to him. Although, I’m trying to add in little comments. Like you can take that furniture when you leave. That way he knows I mean it. (detail removed by Moderator) after a little argument I accidentally called him a (detail removed by Moderator). He was fuming. I could see he was getting angry. It suddenly dawned on me. Now I am getting more confident and arguing back he’s losing control. He can’t handle that. I can see how his emotional abuse could turn into physical. I know it sounds strange but I wanted him to hurt me. That way there was more of a reason to him going. Really the bruises and scars I have are inside and plague me everyday. I can’t wait for him to go although he seems to think he can come and stay a few nights a week to see kids. This cant happen. I need to move on. I just hope that when he goes he doesn’t assume it’s still his home.

[Iwantmeback]

Hello Distraught, I know how you are feeling and thinking, I too feel my oh is itching to hit me, but in so far is holding his own. Instead he’s beating our dogs which is killing me. It’s not strange in wanting him to lash out, leave physical proof of his abuse, yet I still am unsure if I’d go to the police. I’d like to think that because I have more knowledge,I will. I have to speak to my WA adviser soon, will hope she can show me a way out of this mess. I can’t go not without getting the dogs away too, he will quite happily kill at last one of them, to teach me a lesson.
Once your oh leaves, make sure you change the locks straight away. Best wishes
IWMB 💕💕

[Halfwayout]

Hi Distraught, he won’t acknowledge “the end” until your away from each other. I’m going through a very lengthy legal process and we’re still in the same house and yet my OH still thinks there is a chance of reconciliation.
My OH talks out loud to himself in the shower, its well freaky; but he hasn’t admitted that its over and to be honest that day does frighten me.
Like you, I wish he would hit me so the process  would be over, but no. I do not speak to him, no contact, no fuel.
Unfortunately I have to bite my tongue to the name calling, loud tv, guitar playing late at night, constant mess and sneeky financial c**p.
Its great your getting the confidence back, you’ll probably need it, he will feel entitled to stay over while spending time with the kids, knocked that one in the head. Stay strong👍

[EbonyRaven]

I know exactly what you mean. I’m in a similar position, him living here, and me making preparations to get him out. Exactly the same, I drop comments in about when he leaves, and exactly the same he ignores it and pretends it isn’t going to happen. Oh and the taking to himself/the cat/dog, saying things he wants me to hear. That too.
I’ve hoped he’ll get violent too, so I could get the police out. If they took him to question I could get the locks changed. He’s way too clever for that though. I so hope I can get the help I need to get him removed through the official channels.
I’ll know more about that soon.

I’m so very sorry to hear about the dogs, I can only imagine how much that must hurt you. I do hope you find a way soon.

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