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    • #56073
      Serenity
      Participant

      There’s just it, really. Feeling really down.

      But I know that my ex’s aim was always to limit my potential. I need to remind myself that I divorced him for a reason- so I could be feee to reach my potential. Or even just be me.

      It hasn’t been as easy as I had hoped- he’s continued to damage me financially, and I worried sick about my youngest having contact- but I need to remind myself that at least I can branch out into other things. Life shrinks when you are with an abuser. I must take on new opportunities and to do the things I love.

    • #56074
      lover of no contact
      Participant

      Hi Serenity,

      But believe me it won’t last as long these feelings, now that you are not in direct contact with him. We’re Empaths so we feel things deeply. Its hard to feel the low ones but our feelings are really our strengths although it is hard work having to feel. It takes time and energy but reaching out for support is all we can do.

      I tend to dip too when I have indirect contact with ex with my children being affected by him. I felt like that last week when my daughter went into a melt-down due to him affecting her behind the scenes. A special celebration I had planned for her was jeopardized. These guys are so toxic. I’m so glad though that he can only affect me indirectly and not directly.

      My ex too is financially trying to ruin me, I can’t give too much detail but its big plans for financial ruin of me. However I feel I was minded and got the guidance I needed in the past so this time he’s not managing to put me in huge fear like before. I feel I get guidance by reading the posts on this Forum and I keep my strength by sharing my experiences. I feel I will either get what I’m due or else I know I can work on my attitude and grieve any financial losses. Either way I’m not going to let him ruin my life. Even if it takes me years to grieve the losses he’s trying to inflict on me I will grieve them and let go..but not before I fight him legally.

      You can take on opportunities, live life, do things you love. Everything you’ve done so far has been good in your life. You’re a good mother, good friend, good daughter and sister despite trying family members, great support on here. He however is a complete waste of space. He’s spent his life manipulating everything to have the upper hand so he can bring others down. Even if we lose financially to them we have already won, imo, in that we have done our best towards others (not perfect, we are human after all) we have not spent our lives trying to intentionally hurt others…

    • #56075
      Serenity
      Participant

      Thanks, LONC,

      Sorry to hear that your ex is trying to ruin you financially too. They really are hideous creatures, aren’t they?

      You’re right, our feelings are our strength, too. I’d rather be me, with all the suffering that trying to be nice brings, than be like him. He’s not even human.

      There is no hope for them. My eldest divulged to me that my ex – even after denying to CAFCASS that he’d been emotionally unkind towards the kids- had teased him about his appearance. This proves that they really are a lost cause. They can deny abuse on the one hand, and continue it on the other. They are rotten through and through.

      I hope your daughter is more settled now. I have no doubt that you will win over him.

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