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Don’t usually do self indulgence but it’s (detail removed by moderator) and I just feel really sad. Thinking of all the times I went above and beyond to please him and got nothing in return. All the effort I went to (detail removed by moderator). My daughter’s out tonight (it was booked ages ago and I foolishly thought I’d be doing something nice!), I have no friends any more and I just feel totally and utterly on my own.
Can’t believe how much these people take from us, I feel absolutely drained and stripped of who I am. Got to try to see today as a positive, a rebirth and just be nice to myself.
Sorry for moaning, I can’t stand it when people do self indulgent posts on social media! Just everything seems really dark and hopeless today.
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Moderator has removed details of the special day so I’m not sure if it’s a birthday or an anniversary or something less pleasant, either way I feel you lovely it’s horrible to dread occasions and feel alone. I usually take one of two approaches, either I own the alone time – pop music on, glass of something, watch whatever you like on tv etc, or my other option is to right that particular day off, there’s nothing I can do to improve it and worrying is a black hole so head to bed and start again tomorrow. You got this x
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You’re not moaning! I’m in a very similar position and have been feeling exactly the same way today!
I’m taking your advice to be nice to myself (sorry none to give) and going for a long walk, having a nice dinner and a glass of wine to enjoy in peace. Maybe a silent disco later (ie with my headphones on) as I’m on my own too 💃 xx we can make our own fun xx
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I am also feeling very sorry for myself. As a sat at home with my parents I feel this deep anxiety of being alone forever that I’ve missed the time to start over. I feel broken and defeated. Everyday feels the same – don’t know if I’ll ever feel different or really get over him.
I am however proud in some ways as I have changed my number, not had a single look at any social media of his or wondered what he is up to. I feel incredibly sad that he couldn’t just fix up because I would have given him everything if only he had given me the same level of respect 🙁
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I think the thing is they work so hard on making us feel s****y and unattractive that the idea of life without them seems impossible at first. I have up days and down days but certainly feel a lot better today than when I wrote that post, and it was only a week ago! I’m enjoying the calm and quiet it of being away from him and hadn’t realised exactly how incredibly stressful and toxic it was before because I was so heavily embroiled in it. Guess that’s why he called all the time when we weren’t physically together, to keep me “locked in” and blinkered.
I feel absolutely knackered though. My hair started coming out in clumps when we were together and I’ve gone grey in under a year. I’ve got chest pains today and think it’s probably nothing other than just coming down from all the drama.
Sending love, light and strength to all of you, it will get better. Glad we all have each other for support xx
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Much love and hugs going out to all of us.
A lot of recovery is accepting the fact that time can’t be rushed, hurtful and frustrating it can be, but healing is never a quick thing I don’t think.
The more time goes on, the more nurturing you do just for You, the easier if becomes along the way. I remind myself of this every day, even on the tough days. Gratitude for your Peace I think soothes the Soul.
Yes I feel lonely, can’t remember the last time I was hugged – lonnnng time ago, yes I miss ‘the good times’, but reality does become clearer the more days go by. I would not swap my hurting heart for another dose of the inevitable chaos that goes with that person. That’s not love, that’s just a pain the ***.Stay real and keep going,
… always a little further 💝 🙏🏼 -
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