Feeling regret and I don’t know why

[Lola1xx]

I recently left a domestic and sexual violence relationship after a long amount of time. Legal proceedings are nearly done now. I thought I would feel okay and some ease and solice in how things have turned out. I felt okay for the first few weeks after he was gone. But as of lately, I’m starting to feel regret, lonely and really missing him and I don’t know why I feel like this. Because I hated the relationship and new if I didn’t leave I’d die. What do I do. I think the fact I’m seeing people defend him and make out like he was a man with a heart of gold.. I just don’t know what to do

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Lola1xx

I am sorry you have this horrible experience for so long, and glad to hear that you have managed to go through the legal proceedings for it, which is also a very hard thing to do. You are indeed brave going through that and to post here about how you’ve been left feeling.

What you’ve been through is so intense,and for such a long time, and maybe lost yourself a little in the battle, and the rest of you that had those feelings for him initially that the real life of the relationship has overwhelmed, is now trying to catch up, if that makes sense. It sounds like things might be finally starting to calm down for you maybe? Giving you back some space in your head, and energy may return, and its now hitting you that this is the result, the relationship over, the legal battle coming to an end, and suddenly everything is quiet. Quiet time to relax and take back your space, but then it can be hard to know what to do with it perhaps? This is where you start filling your life with the things you love to do, reconnect with your friends and family and make the most of this opportunity to refill your life with enjoyable absorbing activities, that may distract and give some balance to what has been out of balance for so long?

Its a time for reflection, and maybe you have been functioning in survival mode all this time and only now it starting to subside, allowing all the thoughts and feelings to return, now you have space to deal with them. Be patient and kind to yourself, and look after yourself first and foremost. Prioritise you.

Take your time, and post here as you need, for support for this new phase of moving on. These feelings are ones too familiar to many here after such experiences, so you are not alone.

warmest wishes

ts

[Camel]

Hi Lolaxx

You really don’t sound like you’re missing him or regretting getting out.

Maybe you’re missing the man he could have been? Regretting the lost time? Mistaking peace and calm for being lonely?

It’s very early days after an epic battle and years of abuse. So it’s good that your questioning your thoughts and feelings. It will take time to heal. x

[Author]

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